Dysthemics and Narcissists Shouldn't Mingle

Ok, I have a confession to make. I've let something bother me longer then I should have. And I've discovered today that I have had every reason to be bothered. Warning, this is a rant, and it's been a long time coming. And after this post is over, this topic is officially dead. Unless I write an update on my NCOER, which might cause it to resurface.

If any of you have been following my blog for the last few years, you know I deployed to Kosovo for the duration of 2005. And my deployment was anything but smooth. And it wasn't the stress of actually being in Kosovo that made it thus, because a deployment to Kosovo is a cake walk, basically a paid yearlong vacation.

It was the fact that I put up with a major asshole for the duration of the deployment. Yes you narcissist son of a bitch, I'm talking about you. And yes, despite the fact that you outrank me by one lousy paygrade, you know, you decided to look past the fact that the United States Army entrusted me with the rank fo E5, not you who treated me like a PFC (his own words), I'm going to consider the fact that you have no business leading troops and you were an E6, not a non commissioned officer. There is a difference. Therefore, kiss my ass. I don't respect your rank because you sure in hell didn't respect mine. Your job was to mentor me, great job on doing that. Hell, I learned more about what not to be in a leader from you then how to be a leader.

There, I said it. Though I doubt SSG Dipshit no longer reads my blog (I would definitely not put it past him though), I can now get over the fact that I am officially over that whole incident. I've let it eat away at me for to long and I gave him the benefit of the doubt for bothering me for as long as he did. I can take comfort though, that I got to him too. I know I did. How he treated me when we demobilized back to the states confirms that. That bastard was on his guard, and he knew I was just waiting for him to cross the line because I would have been all over his sorry self.

Well, maybe I should start at the beginning. Being a Drill Sergeant Candidate that leaves for school in less then a month, I had to take a Behavioral Health Evaluation to be sure I was fit for training troops. I wanted to be honest with it because I had some issues where I was worried with how I behaved during my deployment.

My psychiatrist was great. I've been diagnosed as a dysthemic, though I haven't had any real issues since my deployment, just the usual mood swings that accompany hormones, and in my case, it will probably help me as a Drill Sergeant. Drill Sergeants (especially females) are supposed to be pissy. She looked at my mental health evaluation and pegged me as a dysthemic right away. Being a dysthemic does not bar me from drill sergeant school. See, I've got a clean record. I've had some mental health issues like depression before, but I've never truly acted on it other then at times crying my eyes out. And the last time I had a real break down was in Kosovo. I've looked back and have realized that I've never had issues like that before with other commanders and NCOICs. Just the one. And its because of him that I needed to be medicated there when I've never needed it at any other time in my life, before or since.

The psychiatrist pegged him right away as a narcissist, and told me that having those feelings and how I acted was completely appropriate for the situation. In fact, she told me the best idea for dealing with narcissists is to avoid them completely. And how do you peg a narcissist? She told me a great way. If you run into somebody that makes you feel like you're stupid, get away from them. Believe it or not, he did that to me. I know I'm not stupid, heck, I was an A student in high school and did awesome on that ASVAB, having the pick of any non combat MOS I wanted. Why oh why did I pick preventive medicine to this day I do not know. But I remember feeling like an idiot when I was around him. And it wasn't that he was really that intelligent (in his eyes he surely thought he was the world's smartest person and knew more then General Schoomaker) but he did make you feel like a dumbass. That is one way to peg a narcissist. She described a narcissist to me and I thought 'holy hell that's him!'

There are some other feelings I had towards him that I won't discuss in detail, but imply what you will, and she said those were appropriate too. And I think those feelings was what made me dwell on it for so long, that I had the capability of actually thinking that. The important thing was though I had the thoughts (it is not uncommon for people to have these types of thoughts at some point in their life), it was the fact that I did not act upon them and kept my reason. Good thing, I wouldn't want to end up in FT Leavonworth because of his pathetic ass, he wouldn't be worth it.

I hope that guy turned in his 20 year letter, because he has no business deploying in a real hostile environment. He has no business being in the military during war, he'll get his soldiers and himself killed. And for himself, it would likely not come from enemy fire.

This topic is dead, this is my one last rant about it. I'm in a kick ass unit now that I love, with people who give me a hard time (what do you expect, they're drill sergeants!) that I can actually respect. When they get on my case, I truly deserve it. And instead of hanging me out to dry by explaining in detail how I'm being punished, they actually tell me what I need to do to correct it.

PS - Everyone that has looked at my NCOER since coming off my deployment has told me that one ate up as hell NCO wrote it. And they don't even have to hear my side of the story to make that assessment.

Blogging, Myspace and the Military

Oh how nice, I'm glad to see that the entire freakin' hospital in Kosovo was doing this and they were cracking down on me for having a tradtional blog. . .

And for the same reasons too. . .

My idiot NCOIC didn't bother enforcing the blog rule with the other two soldiers in the section, who both had active myspace acccounts. But me, well, because I had a fairly well known blog (not so much now) I was the exception to the rule.

The hypocracy kills me.

I mentioned a long time ago that MySpace fell under the same jurisdiction as blogs, I even mentioned this to several people in the chain because I felt I was being unfairly singled out. Not only that, people were accessing their Myspace accounts all the time and posting pictures on them all the while doing this on government computers.

But no, I was the one singled out.

And people wonder why I came back from my deployment rather sour and grumpy.

Been home for just over a year now and I still look back on lessons learned from that experience.

Looking Back and Accepting It

From time to time, I look back on my life and assess different situations I have gone through. Often times I look at them and try to figure out how I would do it differently if I could go back and do it again. One thing I get out of this excercise is that if I come across similar situations now, I can see myself handling them differently then in the past.

A lot of this thought process goes back to my time in Kosovo. Its no secret that I had a tough year last year and dealing with a complete idiot who seemed to want to make my life a living hell didn't help matters. If I could go back and go through those situations again, I would handle them completely differently. I would know how to handle them. Like when I recieved what was quite possibly the worst counseling session ever (or frankly any counseling session), how I would conduct myself when I lost my KFOR badge, how I would handle that last briefing, or what not.

A year ago today I was given a counseling that basically told me that I was worthless as a soldier and had no business being in preventive medicine. My NCOIC was looking at ways to remove my MOS. Yes, an egocentric E6 felt he had the authority to take away the Military Occupational Speciality of an E5. Which in one word is retarded. From this point on was the descent of my professional relationship with that man. I lost all respect for him and in three months I was completely out of his section with no love between the two of us.

Looking back and playing the scenerio in my mind, I have discovered that how I would respond now vs then would probably result in me getting kicked out of the military for insubordination. But truthfully, at the end of the rotation, I had my former NCOIC completely on the defensive, meaning he didn't dare try anything with me. And I realize now that looking back I came out on top of the situation.

But say that I did happen to find a time travel device and could go back to the start of the deployment and fix things, I realize that I learned so much from this deployment that I wouldn't want to go back and change anything. I have often looked back and realized how much fun I had that year, what I was able to accomplish and the lessons I learned both good and bad and if I could go back in time, I don't think I would change anything. Last year was an important growing experience for me. I had to endure those trials, discover myself, fumble and falter because if I didn't, I wouldn't have learned the lessons I did.

Going back to change one thing would likely change everything that followed, especially in that tumultuous year. Change one thing, and the entire year would had a completely different outcome. For good or bad, the experiences would have been different.

The memories I gained, the people I met, the experiences I had, it was all worth it. If I had to go back to October of 2004 and make up my mind all over again on whether or not I would go to Kosovo, I wouldn't want to change a single thing.

Except maybe telling SSG D to Sod Off a little earlier in the deployment.

Grudges

My orders came in. I'm officially out of the unit I deployed to Kosovo under. I'm under an entirely different command structure, in a completely different job field. They say that one of the things you should never do in the military is talk bad about your unit. I didn't really have a unit to talk up actually. I got along well with my commander most of the time, as well as the other soldier in my section who I shared an office with. I was kind of pitted against the other female soldier in the section, who according to my NCOIC, could do no wrong and he likely considered his prodigy. I was the fifth wheel, I never really belonged in the unit, I never meshed, and I felt like I had no real purpose. It was made very apparent early on in the rotation that I was not needed. The other two soldiers were quick to pick up my duties if need be. I only supplemented them on theirs.

And of course, there was my NCOIC. He was a gigantic Ass. I can say that, and I will say that, because he is no longer in my chain of command and there is no threat of him being put in my command again. I'd work with anybody in my section again if I had to, except for him. One of the things I do wish I had done however, is I wished I could have patched things up a bit.

I've had a tendency to make enemies in the past. People who weren't great friends on any account, rather I would call them arch nemesis. There was this one girl, Sarah, that owned horses while I was in Jr. High. I befriended her early because we had a mutual love of horses, only to learn that we didn't mesh well. In fact, we came to not like each other at all.

Jr High is not a time in my life that stands out greatly to me on any account. I don't think Jr High is a highlight of anybody's existence really. Regardless, when we moved away from there, I was still able to patch things up with Sarah so that I didn't have this lingering sense of grudge baring over my soul. And for the longest time I felt that this was one of my best attributes. That I didn't hold grudges against people. Although I would get frustrated and get enemies, as kids in school often do, I didn't really keep them as enemies. Not saying I made best friends or anything out of the fact, but at least we weren't cursing each other as we passed by. If nothing, we became indifferent to one another. I got on with my life, and that person got on with theirs.

That was always a gratifying feeling though, to get on with your life and knowing that you didn't leave hate mongering in your wake. I didn't like to bare grudges, I never did. I still don't, because it doesn't do much for you and the other person likely can care less.

Well, one thing I kind of wish I could have done is at least patch things up a little bit with my former NCOIC (sergeant in charge to you civilians out there). I would never consider him a friend or anything of that nature, but I didn't want the hostility between us to eat at me at the very least. So I tried to mend things a couple of times.

Turns out, he was even more childish then I was. I went to him trying to discuss the issues at large one on one, and he became hostile at me, told me I was whining and wouldn't let me get a word in edge wise. He threw things back in my face, I was wrong and he wouldn't admit that he was either, even though the Task Force XO, IG and whoever else came back to telling both my NCOIC and my commander that I had been in the right and they were in the wrong. I discovered then that once you got on this guy's bad side, he wouldn't give you the time of day.

That was the day I got out from under his command. He hadn't let me do my job as a Preventive Medicine Specialist since September anyway, so there really was no purpose of me being there. In fact, there had never been a purpose for me being in Kosovo. He never trusted me, relied upon me to do anything right. I was the crutch, the fifth wheel of that unit. And I had a blog that I was very vocal on. He did everything in my power to shut me up because he realized that it was his job to monitor me and being the lazy bastard that he was, he wanted less work to do. He got with the captain, they tag teamed me (like they had done several times before) and gave me an order that I didn't have to obey, as it impeded on my right of free speech. When I disobeyed that order, they tried to shut me down. That whole incident really proved to show this man's colors of what kind of person he was and his character. Getting out from under him was the best thing I could have done for myself, as I learned more about leadership when I was out from under him then I ever did from him. If anything, he taught me a lot about what not to be in a leader.

After I get out from under him, I did try a couple of times to make ammends. I even offered him Peanut Butter Fudge once (he didn't accept it) and then I learned that I would never make ammends with this person. He was pouty, and he acted increasingly childish, at one meeting at which we were both present, he offered everybody in the room some huckleberry taffy (except me, which he made it a point not to).

I think he got mightily offended when I decided to appeal the NCOER (sergeant evaluation report). I'm still in the process of appealing it, though it turns out I have to wait until I'm in my new unit to push it through.

After I tried to make some shabby ammends with the guy, I learned, while looking back, that he really didn't deserve the effort on my part. I think it proves that I'm a better person then he is, that I would even try to make an effort especially after all the crap he did to me. Regardless, he turned out to be a genuine Asshole and since he is no longer in my command, I'll say just about anything about the bastard that I want.

Unfortunately, I think I will have these feelings of ill-will to this man for the rest of my life. I will likely never see him again, and I have one suggestion to make to him and that is to turn in his 20 year letter because his staying in will not benefit the army one bit, at least, not as a leader, of which his leadership skills are absolutely zilch (two of his soldiers couldn't stand him by the end of the tour and the third was indifferent, only because he is a strong enough character that he'll get by regardless of how poor a leader his NCOIC is, otherwise I think he would have hated the guy too).

I can take some solace in the fact that I struck a major nerve with the guy, but fortunately I think I'll move on, learn the lessons that he unintentionally taught me about everything a leader shouldn't be or do, and see if I still have what it takes to be a soldier in the military. I like my new unit so far, I like what they do, the soldiering atmosphere they provide, and feel like I can get back in the swing of things again. Bad leaders are everywhere in the military, I don't think the military is helping matters by promoting everything to sergeant like they've been doing (as one thing I have learned with my time in the military, is not everybody is a leader) but if nothing else, I can try to learn some leadership traits and see if I still have the desire to stay in.

I'm going to give this unit a shot. If it doesn't work out, I'm out in a year and a half for good.

Discussions in Retrospect

I have been doing a lot of thinking, most of it in retrospect, and one conversation I had comes to mind frequently. It is also a conversation I had with a person that I feel said a lot about that person at the time, but I failed to read the warning signs and gave him a pass.

I posted my feelings about it earlier too, mentioning it here.

My former NCOIC was the kind of person that knew everything, had an opinion on everything, and would give you his opinion whether you liked it or not. Its just, the thing is, he didn't know everything, time and time again he proved to be increasingly ignorant, and was just too arrogant to see the matter any way other then his way. Which is probably one of the main reasons why I had a big falling out with the guy. In fact, I learned to despise him.

The conversation was about homosexuality. What irritated me about the conversation was that I was told point blank that I was wrong for believing that Homosexuality is wrong. His reasoning was that he felt that if I had a child, that child came out as homosexual, that unless I accepted their lifestyle, I couldn't love them, or something to that effect. What he did was skew my words and made it look that I was closed minded for not accepting something my kid did as wrong.

Fortunately, as of now, I don't have kids, but this kind of reasoning is for one, rediculous. What has my kid being gay have anything to do with me loving them or not? I know a lot of people that are gay that are great people. I know people who smoke who are great people. I know a lot of people who do things that I disagree with that are great, awesome people. Because a person is gay doesn't automatically make me hate them. I disagree with their lifestyle. I think it is perverse and wrong. And I will never accept it as being ok. But I can say the same thing with a million other things, like doing drugs, casual sex, listening to rap music, and whatever else that can be on a greater or lesser degree to homosexuality.

The problem with being against homosexuality these days is if you think that homosexuality is wrong, you are quick to gain the label of 'homophobe.' By its very nature, that seems to be an irrational fear toward homosexuality. It seems to be a liberal trademark to not want to be labeled, but in the meantime to turn around and label somebody else. The thing is, I don't have a fear of homosexuals, I don't hate them. I just don't agree with them. I will never agree that their lifestyle is ok. You know what I do around these people? I don't bring up the fact that their homosexual. We don't talk about it. That is their business, its something that they do on their own time. It is none of my business, and quite frankly, I don't really want to hear about it.

Which brings back the question of what I would do if I had a kid who came out of the closet and admitted that they were gay? What would I do? I would not accept that as an acceptable lifestyle, and I'm sure they would know that I did not accept it as such. But I would also let them know, well before they come out, that I will love them no matter what they do. They are going to make a lot of choices and decisions that I don't agree with, and I will never love them any less because of it.

Because no matter who they become or what they do, they will still be my child.

The reasoning my former NCOIC gave me really made no sense, and in looking back nearly a year and a half later after it happened, that's how I remembered his reasoning being.

Actually, how rediculously stupid and trivial his reasoning seems to me now makes me wonder about a lot of things about the man. But one thing I have discovered since we ceased to talk on friendly terms. Not having to listen to his opinions on everything made life in the last few months of my deployment a lot more bareable.

Trust Issues

I've discovered as of late that I don't trust people like I used to. Well, to tell you the truth, I always had a certain amount of mistrust in regards to people around me, but lately I've discovered that it is hard for me to trust people that aren't family.

I think dealing with certain people in Kosovo killed a lot of my trust. In particular, somebody who I put a lot of trust and faith in who ended up stabbing me in the back multiple times. Something in my head was screaming at me to notice the warning signs and I didn't. I'll be paying for that for a long time to come too I wager. Jackass.

The roommate situation with my brother isn't quite working, for a variety of reasons. One, I'm rooming with boys, and how I've been raised, this goes against my better judgement. Now if it was just me and my brother, it would be just fine, but the third wheel is causing a bit of an issue. That, and actually, he keeps making me feel like I'm imposing on them. Well, the other roommate is the second issue I'm having. I don't really get along with him, and I don't trust him. And I can't live with somebody I don't trust. I don't think he'll take advantage of me or anything in certain ways, but he's already shown that he will try to take advantage of me in regards to weasling his way out of paying for stuff. I won't take any of that, and that really does rub me the wrong way.

Moving on, I don't know where I'm really going or doing right now with my life. I'm in a blah moment, I wanted to get this all figured out while I was in Kosovo and I'm not getting anything figured out. Moving back in *temporarily* with my parents while I sort through my stuff and get back into painting again. I really need to paint again. And if I do, believe me, this blog will focus a lot on that.

School is definitely on the agenda this fall, though I still don't know what I want to get a degree in. I was thinking education, I have a desire to teach. . . something, it has always kind of interested me. Funny, another part of me had often wanted to get into acting. Not for the fame part, strange, having a blog has told me that this is about as much fame as I can handle. Just the job itself has always sounded like fun. The chance to just be something you're not. Maybe that's why I always loved Halloween. A part of me can't act, but another part of me can. And I've been a lot less inhibited as of late. I think that's another lesson I learned in Kosovo.

That, and I can't trust people.

For those of you interested in knowing where I go from here in regards to the army, I'm still in for at least a year and a half. I'm debating on what I'm going to do, I don't want to stay as Preventive Medicine, I feel the job is becoming completely worthless and I have to be in a job with a purpose, or more importantly, a point. But I've hit a catch 22 in regards to that in that I don't want to reenlist until I get into a job I know I want to do and love, but I can't get that job unless I have more time left in service. Bah, leave me alone already!

But I'm safe from deploying. For now. Unless I volunteer for a deployment. And I don't see that happening any time soon. I need another job I actually feel comfortable deploying under first.

What is Leadership?

The last few weeks have been of serious reflection over this past year. I came on this deployment seeking three things. To develop myself as a Leader (knowing before hand that I was weak in this area), learn more about my job and to get a grasp of the army life in general. Maybe a deployment with nothing but Reservists and National Guardsmen isn't the optimal opportunity to seek out the latter, but I was hoping at least for something from the former.

The truth is, I've learned more about leadership and the military in general in the last month then I have the entire deployment. I made some serious errors in regards to my professional career in the military recently and I'm only now starting to recoup from them. I may never recoup from them, this deployment had nearly killed my love of the military and had at one point destroyed my drive and purpose for being in.

See, when I got back from leave, I had lost a lot of motivation for staying in the army. I just didn't care anymore. Only recently have I gotten that drive back, I feel more motivated, energetic, my will to succeed has returned. In looking back, I realize that poor leadership had taken that out of me.

I won't go into details, I won't defame anybody's name (whether they deserve it or not) on my blog, but looking back, I've lost a lot of respect for one person in particular. I'm sure they know this, as though I do blame myself for not taking a more proactive approach on my own career and standing up to the idiocy that surrounded me earlier, they didn't go out of their way to help me. Even when I went to them seeking their help. I think that's where I made my first mistake, trusting them when they quickly proved that they didn't deserve that trust. Somebody gave me the analogy of somebody pretending to be my friend, patting me on the back where in reality they were just looking for a place to plant the knife. And by my nature, even though I would get angry at them for the bullsh** they piled upon me, I still gave them another chance. I gave them another chance when they had given up on me a long time ago. I kick myself for that.

I guarantee you I won't make that same mistake in the future. I know what to expect from my leaders and mentors now.

Maybe one day, I can actually prove that I have what it takes to be a leader. But not this year. Somebody had successfully squashed that early on this deployment.

In the December alone I have felt happier, more sure of myself, and eager to do my job and perform my mission then I had before. I think this has a lot to do from me being pulled from my former section where I felt like I had no purpose and spent most of my time trying to figure out what I had done wrong and why I had failed so horribly. There is a lot about this deployment that I have not delved into through my blog, I haven't even scraped the surface. Maybe I never will. But many of my readers probably noted my intense frustration throughout it.

Amazing, that frustration is practically gone. I just need to get it out and drive on. Only a short while left in theater and then I'll be home free.

And maybe I'll give the army another chance to prove to me that it's not as broken as I have been led to believe.

Invinigorated once more

Its amazing that in the last three weeks, I have felt energized and motivated with the army again. I've discovered that this is due in part to the absence of one specific individual who I am in correspondance with in a professional only basis. No more unwelcome advice, no more long lectures about nothing. In fact, for the first time this rotation, I've felt like I actually have a purpose here. I've discovered a long time ago that I am a happy soldier when I feel like I have a reason to be, and my former command's catch all cure for a problem soldier was to fire them from whatever job they were doing.

I could go into that, but I don't feel that this is the oppropriate time to do so.

Meanwhile, I finally did the Schutzenschnur a while back. Pictures to come.

The NCO Creed

No one is more professional than I. I am a Noncommissioned Officer, a leader of soldiers. As a Noncommissioned Officer, I realize that I am a member of a time honored corps, which is known as "The Backbone of the Army". I am proud of the Corps of Noncommissioned Officers and will at all times conduct myself so as to bring credit upon the Corps, the Military Service and my country regardless of the situation in which I find myself. I will not use my grade or position to attain pleasure, profit, or personal safety.

Competence is my watchword. My two basic responsibilities will always be uppermost in my mind -- accomplishment of my mission and the welfare of my soldiers. I will strive to remain tactically and technically proficient. I am aware of my role as a Noncommissioned Officer. I will fulfill my responsibilities inherent in that role. All soldiers are entitled to outstanding leadership; I will provide that leadership. I know my soldiers and I will always place their needs above my own. I will communicate consistently with my soldiers and never leave them uninformed. I will be fair and impartial when recommending both rewards and punishment.

Officers of my unit will have maximum time to accomplish their duties; they will not have to accomplish mine. I will earn their respect and confidence as well as that of my soldiers. I will be loyal to those with whom I serve; seniors, peers, and subordinates alike. I will exercise initiative by taking appropriate action in the absence of orders. I will not compromise my integrity, nor my moral courage. I will not forget, nor will I allow my comrades to forget that we are professionals, Noncommissioned Officers, leaders!

This is the NCO Creed, which all NCO's should live by. I admit that I haven't always been able to live by the creed, but I've attempted to memorize it in the past and tried to grow into it. I have seen many Sergeants in the army who don't seem to know what this is or even try to do anything with it.

Well, the latest info on my journey in Kosovo, I am no longer in the section I came here under. My former NCOIC and I had one clash to many and I felt that I could no longer perform adequately under him, so I asked to be removed. I have been moved out of Preventive Medicine and now I work in the hospital doing general tasks that need to be performed directly for the First Sergeant. I think I'll be fine with this arrangement, I've got a little time left and December has so far started off on the right foot already.

A load has been lifted. I just hope the rest of this month goes by with no more major issues.

I also think that the blog will no longer be an issue. I will do everything in my power to make sure it remains an non-issue as well.

Us vs Them

Well, first off, I did make it back to Kosovo, safe and sound, but note necessarily sane.

Secondly, upon arriving, I was informed that I am no longer allowed to post pictures on any website. Period. This is apparently DOD wide.

Note - This post had been edited at the time I posted it, but now it is back up in its full grandeur.

Ok. . . the military has been set on micromanaging my every move, and I'm not really liking it. And considering that I am a soldier up for Re-enlisting, this gets docked into the pile of Reasons Not to Reenlist. That list is getting rather large as of late.

I feel like saving myself a lot of grief and heartache by just quitting blogging altogether, except for this has been an important outlet for me and has really helped me cope with this deployment during the rough parts. And those have been more frequent then I would have hoped.

Kosovo isn't that bad of a place to be, except for I have to deal with the army all of the time. You know what? I made up my mind today officially on my reenlistment. I'm not going to. The only reasons for me to reenlist is because the army will pay me 15 grand tax free if I do it, and an obligation I feel to serve my country in a time of war.

I have always felt that if you're joining the army for money, then you're joining for all of the wrong reasons. Which means that this is not a good enough reason to reenlist.

Well, if the army wants to retain this soldier, they need to pull their head out of their ass and chalk up some better reasons to keep me. I've got to the end of this deployment and I'm out. I'll find another way to serve my country that doesn't require me playing these stupid games that the military keeps throwing at me.

Sorry, I had to rant and this is probably not the best place to do it. But maybe the higher ups can read this and maybe it will give them a clue as to what the Pee-ons are thinking. Cause I know I'm not the only one thinking it.

The army is not for everybody, that is a very true statement. The thing is, I thought it was for me. I guess I was wrong.

Further Note - I have since learned that it wasn't so much the army I had a problem with, it was my stupid NCOIC who micromanaged my every mood. I've never had an issue with the army before this deployment and I haven't had an issue with it since.

Bad leaders will ruin everything.

When I was in Germany, I discovered that I can't wait to have my mom with me when I see Europe. I discovered this on account of two things. One, I was in Germany with my NCOIC and he had the rental car in his name.

And he liked to be in his room to watch Football games and what not, leaving me to pick my nose and twiddle my thumbs.

Don't get me wrong, SSG D is a good guy and all, and we went and saw Kaiserslaughtern and Landstuhl and I found those two German Towns to be very interesting. He just liked to call it early on some days.

See, he even said this. He's old, I'm young. And asking him to take a picture for you is like asking somebody to have their teeth voluntarily pulled.

I think we could have remedied the whole issue by having me get the rental car in my name, but alas, it wasn't the case.

Meanwhile, Germany was beautiful and when we were out and about I sincerely enjoyed myself, and thought about how much fun I was going to have and how much my mom was going to enjoy this. When I mentioned this to SSG D, he said I should. . .

I didn't finish this post, and if I were to rewrite it, I wouldn't be so kind to SSG D

Subjected to Mass Punishment

I didn't see Elektra last night, I couldn't find my movie date, I think he stood me up, or he just forgot.

Well, the head of our enlisted Department, SSG D, saw Hide And Seek instead.

You know that there might be a problem if the typo in the schedule declares that the movie is called Hide and Sick. He came in this morning ranting and raving about how bloody awful this movie was until he was red in the face. It got so bad to the point that the commander officially ordered him not to talk about the movie anymore.

Fast forward to this afternoon, myself and two other soldiers were discussing about the policy that was reiterated this afternoon that we are not to go shopping, eat, or drink coffee on the local economy until further notice. To emphasize this, we were shown a picture of three soldiers sitting down at a cafe drinking coffee. Those soldiers were in our task force, and two of them were giving the brief (which was part of their punishment). Dang, I wish I knew I could have gotten away with it before now and claimed ignorance, because I didn't think we were supposed to stop and shop, eat, or have coffee.

In afterthought, in the office, I'm trying to get the ok to leave when we start discussing the briefing and various parts of the task force and how SSG D felt he was disrespected by a member of one of the other sections (as a side note). When the good Captain asked SPC D if she would ever treat any senior NCO with such disrespect, the wise cracking started, at the expense of the good sergeant. In good harmless fun mind you.

As punishment? SSG D kindly asked the captain to leave the room, and we were subjected to a full ten minute rant about how truly awful Hide and Seek really was.

Can I just have the push ups next time please?