Streamlining Life

So I deactivated Facebook, which might be why I am currently blogging on my neglected blog.  Kind of a sad chain of events I know.  But don't see this as a sign that I'll post here more frequently.  Though who knows, I might.

So what started this?  I guess it begins with the drama of Facebook, and social media in general, a drama that I was feeding myself into like a stupid insecure teenage girl.  I'm a 33 year old woman for criminy's sake, why am I feeding into that?  And it really was over something stupid that was bugging the snot out of me and making me into the exact person that I really can't stand, bringing out all of the insecurities of my time as a teenager and twenty-something.  Furthermore, right now, I just don't have time.

In the middle of everything that is going on right now, we are preparing to put our house on the market, I'm trying to sort through and get rid of stuff (a much needed forced dejunking) , I'm awaiting my orders into the IRR where I will likely be for the next few years (while I still have to drill in the meantime) , and I'm raising a very precocious and active two year old girl, along with her nine month old sister who is full fledged walking.  I don't have time for the drama and time suck that is Facebook, which is so easy to get absorbed into that before you know it, three hours have passed and you haven't done squat.  The stress of everything had to be getting to me and causing me to react to stupid trivial stuff in a way that was uncharacteristic of me.

I talked to several people about this, they all basically said the same thing, that I was making a mountain out of a mole hill and it was not a big deal, so don't make it into drama.  My sister suggested I delete Facebook, and when she said it, the spontaneity of it was brilliant.  I just needed to turn off that time suck, delete the app from my phone and use the precious time to get things done around the house.   And if, in the event that my daughter demands my time and prevents me from accomplishing my chores, perhaps I should, I don't know, focus my attention on her instead.  I don't want my kids to remember me as being glued to the damn phone.

The question is, will I return to Facebook?  Undoubtedly, for all of its faults, it's a great way to stay connected with friends and family, though I will undoubtedly streamline it so I am not following so many pages.  We are moving overseas in a few months, and that is one of the prime ways to stay connected with loved ones short of talking to them on the phone, and I don't know how often I will get to do that.  However, I think just sitting down and deactivating Facebook every now and then is good for the soul, just a clean break from social media so you can turn your attention on the important things, namely family and spending quality time with children, watching them grow and trying to build them into becoming responsible individuals.  I see a lot of character traits in my daughter that she shares with me.  I want this to be a positive thing, not a negative.  It took me a long time to get comfortable in my own skin, so to revert back to defensiveness and petty grudges over something that ultimately does not matter is not on my agenda at the moment.  I'm an adult, in this era of perpetual childhood, I really need to act like one.

And right now, my life requires me to focus on the things that matter and not get wrapped up in the trivial matters that come with Facebook.

Resolutions, 2013/2014

Wow, I don't need to say it, but life has just sort of taken me completely away from computers so I basically live on my iPhone these days, and very rarely do I blog.  But what's a little New Year's Resolution Post going to hurt?  That's right, nobody.  So here it goes, how did I do this year on my Resolutions?

Hah! 

That's a preview.

 1. Grow a garden - Gus rototilled the garden area out, but I successfully grew a lot of knap weed.

 2. Do at least one meal a week by scratch - This one was really hit and miss.  I could say I did pretty well to be honest, I rocked November.  December, well. . .

3. Eat more fruits and vegetables - Another amber resolution.  I think I did better than last year, but I still had far too many veggies go bad in the veggie drawer.

4. Milk Cow Daily - You know, I really did do pretty good for the month that I had her.  But alas, it was proven that she was not bred back and there was no way I could keep her in milk while I had my own baby.  And now that I have two children under the age of three, it was probably a wise idea that I got rid of the cow.  But in the future, when my children are older, I would love to have another one.

4.1 Milk the Goat -I no longer own goats.  And I never milked them when I had them.

4.2 - Learn to make my own Cheese, Butter, Yogurt, etc - Well, I know how to make butter.  But making stuff from scratch, and from absolute scratch, well, when my kids are not so demanding, maybe I'll get on this one. 

 5. Attend church at least twice a month - Gus doesn't really do church, and I can't force him too.  I knew that when I married him.  I still love him, however I can't do church with two kids (and mostly Kaia) and without him.  I don't get anything out of it other than feeling stressed.  So maybe I need to focus on my own personal enrichment.

6. Do More Art - I once considered myself an artist?

7. Learn a new craft skill - My friend recently taught me the basics of knitting.  It looks like a lot of fun.  I want to continue.  But I fear I have already forgotten what she taught me.  Still, I made an effort in the right direction.

7.1 Make more quilts -  Hah!  Ashlyn is still waiting for her homemade baby blanket from me. 

8. Breastfeed through the new year - I actually completed one?  Wow!  Still breastfeeding my little Bean Sprout.

9. Graduate from College - I will blame this one on the sequester delaying my plans by messing with my tuition assistance.  And then I had a baby and never got back on it. 

10. Exercise more - If by more, I mean more than last year, I failed.  I started exercising, but it really didn't last long.

10.1 Complete one full cycle of P90X - I did about three weeks of T25, I'm thinking of ordering P90X3 but, well, I failed big time. 

11. Read one new book a month - Books?  What are those?

So, how did I do?  Um, awful.  But you know what?  I'm not going to let it get me down.  New Year's Resolutions for this year?  Let me see. . .

1. Stay sane -  No, really, this is a legitimate resolution.  I need to remain with my sanity intact, it is going to be a little crazy this year for me. 

2. Try not to get pregnant until after Ashlyn turns one (if we get pregnant at all) - we're toying with this idea of having a third child, because Gus really wants a boy and we have two girls (who we absolutely love)  but I'll be honest.  Kids are work!  It also impacts your body and wears you out.  So, if we do end up having number three in the near future (they have to come before I turn 35 or we aren't having them at all, that's my rule) I need to at least give myself a bit of a break before we start with the whole bun in the oven thing.  So I want to wait until Ashlyn is at least a year.  Preferably I would like the next kid to make it until after Ashlyn turns two, but we'll see where we are at.

3. Learn How to Make Sushi - I got a sushi making kit for Christmas.  I love me some Sushi, so it would make sense if I learned how to actually make it myself. 

4. Downsize - Working on it now, we are getting rid of a lot of stuff.  And I mean pretty much half of what I own.  This will probably be a green resolution because my hand is being forced into it.  I don't mind.

5. See a Foreign Country - If everything goes well, this should be an auto green also.  We are moving to Japan.

5.1.  Don't get Cancer - Fukushima is not the place to hang out or so I'm told.  Hopefully the fallout doesn't affect myself and my family.  Perhaps we will be stocking up on different holistic remedies?  We shall see.

6. Leadman - I'm doing it this year, nobody is going to stop me!  well, something or someone might, but it's the only race I feel like I really can do, that and Bloomsday.  Hmm, that makes a great secondary resolution.

6.1 Bloomsday! -  That settles it.  I'm running this year!

7. Make our Move a Smooth One - Did I mention already we're moving to Japan?  Yeah, about that.  I get to be an Air Force Spouse!   Maybe I need some Japanese Resolutions?

8.  Learn how to read Japanese -  Yeah, that might be a resolution we'll be working on for the next four or so years. . . along with speaking it too.  And not just Sayanara and Kannichiwa. 

9.  Show Greater Patience with my Resident Two Year Old - I'm a mother of a two year old, who seems to have entered the terrible twos about eight months early, only to really demonstrate what the terrible twos are all about when she actually turned two.  I love her to death, but I feel like a perpetual stress case.  I need to work on being more relaxed and patient with her.  And sometimes, I just need to learn how to let things roll off my back. 

10 - exercise more -  Yes, that one is a gimme.  What's a new year's resolution list without the dreaded 'e' word showing its face somewhere?  That, and if I do get pregnant this year, I want to be in decent shape. 

So there you have it.  That's my list.  I'll see you next year.