I'm still suffering from personal dilemmas. This can't be good.


Late Night Musings

I really feel the need to pull a late nighter tonight. Just doing odds and ends and just goofing around. . .

I have to do another to do list too. I'l refrain from posting it. That surely must get old after a while.

My Live Journal is driving me nuts. Everytime i try to do something, I get a 'Page not available' message and have to refresh it to do anything, and therefore am constantly losing comments and postings and whatever else. I give up.


It's A Mad World

Just found out that Gary Jules is coming to Spokane in a couple of weeks, and tickets are ten dollars.

I think I found something affordable that I would like to attend. He blew me away with his rendition of Mad World. I'd like to see how the rest of his music compares.

In other news, have been in the thinking mood again as of late. Not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but really, when it comes to me nothing is really ever a good thing.

Most of it has to do with religion though. See, I was brought up believing in a particular religion and in a lot of ways it makes sense to me. But in other ways I am constantly finding myself questioning a lot about it. I usually kind of keep this buried deep inside of me, I don't want to dwell on it because of a lot of factors.

I guess I've been in denial that I'm in denial for about five or six years now. Ever since I was about seventeen. That's probably when I first really started to get depressed, and I mean seriously depressed. I don't know if there is any corolation (sp?) between my eternal questioning and my faith. I mean, really, something that has always bugged me is that no matter what, if you don't believe in a here after, what do you look forward too? Just disappearing so that in a hundred years after you die, your just another forgotten name in the eternal database of humanity? That used to terrify me, the thought that after all this is over with, I would just disappear and cease to exist.

I want to believe in something greater then myself. I mean, a lot of things are greater then myself, but I truly want to believe in something greater then us all, that all omniscient being called God. I have a lot of issues sometimes when trying to decide if there is actually a God, but I guess I've believed in God for a lot of reasons, one of the main reasons is it brings me some kind of comfort knowing that perhaps, maybe, this isn't all there is to it. I guess that's just one of the things that kept me chugging along.

That, and the fear that if there is an afterlife, I just blew it.


Evil Conservative Things

I have no desire to see The Day After Tomorrow, but now I have a reason too. I'm going to print out flyers and give them out to unsuspecting people.


My life is kind of drum dum right now. Not much going on other then work and then i lounge about the house for the rest of the day in an attempt to not spend any more money.

what should I honestly do with myself?


An Oath To Live By

I, Risawn, hereby promise to discourage anyone to view, think or talk about Anime and its cheap traits except when insulting it. I will help tell others about this website so they too can see the hate behind Anime. I hate Anime, and Anime hates me. I will be mocked, but I will fight back. Together, we will stand strong.

Um, added a link to the side. Because I hate anime. I always have, ever since I was little. Something about how their mouths move just really irks me and always have. . .

Elf Only Inn rocks.

Politics Makes Me VERY ANGRY!!!

I've noticed that when I get politically active, I only become angry. When I just kind of go with the flow, I'm just, you know, chillen'.

I find it important to keep up to date with current affairs around the world, but if it makes me angry, why do I make it a point to understand these?

Sounds like a double edged sword to me.


Book Collection Type Thingees

I have a small, slight obsession.

I like to collect books. Lately, after my small collection frenzy with trying to get all of the Death Gate Cycle in hardback (I have momentarily given up on this endeavor, only because I got two books that were the wrong size, but I'll get them again eventually).

My current collecting frenzy? Sluggy Freelance books. Becuase its such a hella long comic, I prefer to read them via book vs internet, and so far have found five of the eight books. But I don't know how long I'll be going about this. I lucked out and got book one off the website for the list price and easily got books seven and eight. The one's in the middle, er, this is going to be a bit harder. I guess i'll just have to wait until Plan Nine republishes them again. *waits*


Blog Question Type Things

Risawn is radioactive. Wear protective clothing at all times.


From Go-Quiz.com



Yes, This is What This Blog is Named For. . .

I've got a downer coming, I can feel it now. I haven't had a real downer in a while, strange to think its my own actions that generally cause these downers, if there is any reason whatsoever to it. Sometimes, more often then not, I don't have a reason to be down.

Does there have to be a reason? Does it just come without invitation? I can't predict what my mood will be tomorrow. They say you're supposed to choose your attitude, that its all your own doing.

How can you choose your attitude when you can't control it?

Why am I such a bitch all the time?

I haven't had a serious downer since last october. Probably the most serious case all year last year. I need to kick my ass into gear and just find a way to get over it.

Off My Chest

Well, back from Seattle. Got a couple of things checked off my list, however must admit that I'm getting a little frustrated by some things. I actually loved Seattle, but loved in the same way that I love San Francisco. It's a cool city to visit from time to time, but never in a million years would I actually want to exist there on a continual basis.

I also learned that I am incompatable with some people. Which is kind of odd to say that now after I've known this specific person for over four years.

I also noted that somebody actually commented on one of my entries below, and I'm fearful of reading the comment on account that my BiPolar was speaking the day I posted that and I haven't had an opportunity of sending that particular post into the nonexistence of the anti archive.

edit - i broke down and read it anyway. It's just Bob. How you doing, Bob?

I did create a blog for my political outpouring, by the way, so I would stop stooping into my promise to not post anything political and posting political thoughts here that could be potentially offensive.

No, you don't get a URL, because the point of me posting there is its anonymous. And I doubt it will ever be anything big.


Plink Plink!

Went Plinking today. is always fun, and if you know what you're doing and not going in the middle of the night, its relatively safe too.

We tried to get an early start, but I ended up getting us lost at one point. Well, not technically lost, just kind of not in the direction we wanted to go.

Anyway, picked up some targets at Ace Hardware, they had peeps for free, so we set them up and shot at them. Fun stuff. I think I'm going to work on getting my Paint Ball gun working, I think I would have a lot of fun doing that.

Anyway, the pictures. . . I'm a sucker for photo evidence!

This is a 270 hunting rifle, and gives quite a kick. I'm amazed on how acurate it is, I don't think I ever shot it before but we pelted the targets and it showed. This thing goes through a quarter inch of steel as if it was pancake batter.

This is Emmet. Emmet is mine. I had to get the hang of loading the magazine, I kept screwing it up and cramming it to far in and jamming it. Emmet is surprisingly accurate, I'm happy that emmet is mine.

Another shot of me and Emmet, in the prone. Prone is fun. I need to work on my grip though, I was starting to get a little wobbly.

That is a very small gun. And I'm not a very good shot at it either.

I don't know why I decided to wear a cowboy hat, I just did. My Brother just bought this little bad boy, a 357 revolver, it gives quite a kick and I'm impressed that I actually hit the targets a couple of times.

This was one of our targets.

If you can't tell, I am an advocate of the 2nd amendment.



Bloomsday Pictures are in.

And I'm still in pain. I need to go out and jog and loosen my muscles up, if they would let me.


Running Tomorrow

Running Bloomsday tomorrow. Somehow got into orange group and everyone I know is running green. *sighs*

I will be hurting monday.