Corbin's Birth Story

 Corbin was born on May 1st, 2015 at 3:36 am at a whopping 9lb2oz and 22 inches in length.  He shared a due date with his older sister of May 9th, just two years apart, however their birthdays are a scant two days difference. 

One thing I learned from giving birth three times, is that every time is different.  Every pregnancy is different, and every birth is different.  Kaia was a first time mom experience, Ashlyn was an anomaly in a lot of ways.  I was kind of looking at my experiences prior and using them as a basis for what I might experience this time around, but I think I leaned on them a little too much.  But let me go back to the beginning.

I found out I was pregnant on September 4th, 2014.  We had been in Japan for four months, and another baby wasn’t really on the agenda for us.  I do admit that I had started feeling like we were supposed to have another, but Gus and I were kind of assessing where we were in our life, and a third child wasn’t quite in the picture just yet.  We were open to the whole notion of having another baby, if it happened, but we weren’t trying, and we were taking precautions to prevent another one sneaking in there.  However, I guess some things are meant to be because sneak in there he did.  I almost cried when I saw the positive line on the pregnancy test.  After the initial panic and shock wore off, I just settled into the idea that we were going to be the parents of three kids, and a family of five.  What are we in for? 
When pregnant in Japan, get a maternity pic in a Kimono
Our adventures slowed down quite a bit because I got car sick easily on the roads of northern Japan in the first trimester.  I kept this pregnancy mum for a while, only telling a handful of people.  We were trying to figure out how to tell our family when my sis in law provided the opportunity with an excuse to head back to the States for her wedding.  We announced our pregnancy at fourteen weeks and fifteen weeks to our respective families while we were home for the holidays, and then made the ‘Facebook’ announcement on Christmas, when we found out what we were having.  After two rambunctious little girls, we were going to add a boy to the mix.  I had a feeling from the start that it was going to be a boy, mother’s intuition I guess.  A lot of people were surprised we were pregnant, and that we hid the news until we were twenty weeks.  It was kind of fun having that secret in a lot of ways. 

Every pregnancy is different, I could tell this one was different in subtle ways.  I went into the pregnancy being very active, I had started running and working out with the intention of continuing through out, well, that went out the window by week six.  The exhaustion hit me and I was just done with worrying about it, since I was taking care of a sixteen month old and a nearly three year old at the same time.  I didn’t have time to worry about that, and though I craved the naps I got with my first two pregnancies, forget it with this one.  I snuck one in when Gus was home from time to time, but they were few and far between.  I got some strange reactions with certain foods, and the last month I got swollen feet.  Where did those come from?  They were a pain, though I count my blessings because I was very healthy aside from that.

The birth however, threw me a bit.  Because I had a very fast labor and delivery with Ashlyn, and when I was checked at my last appointment, I was already dilated to a 3-4 and 70% effaced, I decided that when I knew it was labor, I would go in.  I wasn’t going to joke around with that.  I felt that I would be lucky if this was a repeat of Ashlyn’s birth, and a part of me felt like I could have birthed her easily at home if it had come down to it.  In fact, my intuition felt like this would be another quick labor.  Well, it wasn’t.  But that wasn’t a problem because of all of my labors, this was the easiest.  Delivery was a different story.

My mom flew out on Monday, the 27th of April, and I was just hoping that I could hold out until then, taking it very easy so my mom could be here for the birth.  Then it was go time.  I was ready for this baby to arrive, and boy was I feeling it.  On April 30th, we had gone and grabbed a few groceries at the commissary and I was feeling a little off.  I had Braxton hicks that were pretty intense at times, not painful, just really uncomfortable, and this was a bit different.  When we got home, I started monitoring them, trying to time them, but they weren’t the most consistent.  The pain level was all over the place and it was actually pretty manageable.  I knew it was labor though, but I didn’t want to jump the gun.  The contractions kicked in just before 4.  They were coming about every five minutes, give or take.  I felt like I could manage them and labor at home for longer, but with my history, I just felt safe in going in and making sure I was there instead of having an accidental delivery at home.  They kind of frown on that at military bases.  To give you an idea of how mellow these contractions were, my mom insisted on taking a picture of my belly at that moment.  She insisted I was pretty far out there.  I did feel rather enormous and ready to move this baby along.  I still retained my sense of humor too.

time to get this kid out of me!
 Because Gus was close to the end of his shift, I just waited for him to get off before I called him, telling him to come home.  We all loaded up in the car, took the kids to a friend who offered to baby sit them, and headed to the hospital.  I was still having some labor, but it was still really mild and a bit more irregular, definitely early labor symptoms.  The nurses went ahead and got me a room, allowing me to stay because of my history as they checked me out.  I was dilated to a 4, maybe a 5, and still 70% effaced.  I was also still having some really mellow contractions.  The nurses weren’t concerned too much, saying they would check me in a couple of hours to see how I was progressing, in the meantime just coming in now and again to make sure things weren’t progressing to fast. 

And so we sat.  And waited.  I twiddled my thumbs for a bit, and wondered what the heck this was.  I knew it was labor, but I was beginning to second guess myself.  The contractions were starting to stall. 

I had a friend who was certifying to become a doula present and we decided to go for a walk or do something to speed things up.  I tried squatting, I tried lunges, I tried speed walking, I tried all sorts of things.  Nothing was really happening.  Gus grabbed dinner and I just asked for dried carbs so he brought me triscuits.  This was getting a little lame, and a little embarrassing.  I just felt labor completely stalled out.  They came back, checked me again, no progression, and told me to go ahead and go home, and come back in when things were a little more intense.  They told me not to worry about it, they would rather me come in than not, and I was the only one in Labor and Delivery at present so there wasn’t a whole lot going on anyway.  So around seven o’clock, we headed home, I felt a little defeated. 

Bouncing on a yoga ball, doing speed walks around the corridor of our apartment building, other. . . stuff. . ., anything to get this sucker moving. 

Nothing.  Le Sigh.  I was sort of hoping for an April Baby.  Looks like he was coming in May after all. 

We were resolute to go ahead and call it quits, time for me to go to bed.  I messaged my babysitter as we contemplated getting the kids, but decided to leave them there, just in case.  Besides, Kaia was already asleep.  It could still happen, I just wasn’t sure what was happening at present.

Well, I woke up around midnight to some more intense contractions.  It felt promising, but they weren’t so bad that I couldn’t talk through them.  I went ahead and decided to walk around and monitor them a little more closely.  They were still spread out, about five minutes apart.  I woke up my mom and we monitored them together.  She wasn’t sure what I was experiencing, because they were still relatively mild, but they were coming more and more regular.  I went ahead and sat down, and they kind of went away, but as soon as I stood up, they would get me.  This is not how contractions are supposed to behave so it had me baffled.

It was kind of a strange labor, sitting stalled them, standing started them.  What in the heck?  We decided when I found the pain unbearable we would head in.  We debated waking up Gus while we monitored them, but I decided to let him sleep.  Then I had a strange contraction, it wasn’t anywhere but at my pelvic joints, not in my back, not in my legs.  I could talk through it relatively easily, it just left me a little winded, and that was the first sign something was happening.  I decided to sit down and just sit until a contraction hit.  We continued to talk, I was wondering if these contractions would move closer together at all, and then bam!  That one was a little more intense.  And then something was noticeably different.  I started trembling a little, and mom knew I finally transitioned.  She suggested we wait for another contraction like that and I was No, get Gus up now. 

We headed back to the hospital at two in the morning, giving them a phone call to let them know that this time this was it.  They were waiting for us and sent us back to the first room we had been in where they checked me again.  I was at 9 cm and dilated 90%, time to call the doctor.  They expected me to go before he got there, but no, this was an odd labor already and it continued to be odd.  Even if I had wanted an epidural it was too late to get one, so we went through the process of breathing through my contractions waiting for that last cm to finish and allowing this baby to come. 

An important part of any labor is a supportive birth partner. 
I did miss my sister's photography talent this time around however.
Labor had stalled again.  It was hospital policy to put in an IV so I had to wait through that, fortunately my labor was still relatively mild in the scheme of things while we waited for my body to finish that last little bit.  Nothing.  Still nothing.  I didn’t want to sit, I wanted to stand, so we stood through the contractions while Gus bore through my pressure points at my hips, which provided relief.  Still, this last cm was not cooperating so they offered to break my water, which hadn’t broken yet.  The nurses were impressed by how calm I was, but gave me advice on what to do to speed things along.  They suggested I would go into delivery right away if that happened and baby would be right there.  I looked at the time and gave myself until 3:15, if I didn’t go into delivery on my own by then, I would let them break my water.  Well, 3:15 came and went, and at 3:17 the doctor broke my water.  We were on our way. 

It took my body a bit to figure out that something had changed, but I was resolute to not birth on my back.  I wasn’t sure what position I wanted to push in, so I got on my hands and knees and decided to repeat my delivery with Ashlyn.  However, this was not Ashlyn’s birth, it was different, and I realized that it wasn’t going to behave like it did then.  Something was different.  I probably sat there breathing through the contractions for five to ten minutes waiting for the urge to push.  When it came, I started pushing.  The labor had been easy up until this point.  Then it became quite painful.  He wasn’t coming out easy peasy like Ashlyn did, I was going to have to work at this one. 

When his head started to crown, I tried to ease him out of the birth canal, and I felt his head emerge, I could have sworn it did, and then the pushing stopped.  I just sat there, waiting for another contraction to hit and that urge to push to return.  There was a brief calm.  I didn’t know what was going on, I couldn’t see what I was doing, but apparently something was wrong.  I had nearly pushed his head out, but when I had stopped pushing, his head was sucked back inside of me.  The doctor checked to see what was going on, and then ordered me to get on my back.  I didn’t fight him, this wasn’t right, it wasn’t the same birth as my last so I willingly went to my back and with the next contraction he told me to push as hard as I could.  I wanted a delayed cord clamp, but they had to cut the cord which was wrapped tightly around his neck.  As soon as it was cut, they needed me to push and get him out.  Now.  I pushed, and I gave a scream, and out he came.  I reached for him, wanting to hold him, but was informed that they needed to take him at that moment, and I saw why when I realized he was dark purple and limp.  They needed to get him breathing again.  I was still in shock from delivery and looked over at my mom, who was crying.  I wasn’t sure if it was tears of joy or not, but she later told me that it had scared her.  Fortunately, they were able to get him breathing within a minute and his color came back.  When I heard him cry it seemed like a collective breath of relief went through that room.  He was going to be ok.  I look back and realize that I couldn’t be more grateful for having been in that hospital then right then.  That was exactly where I needed to be, or else I would have very likely lost Corbin.

Corbin was introduced to the world (via Facebook) with this pic, showing him blue in the face. 
I just watched from my vantage point, unable to see anything, as the doctor focused on me once he was certain my baby was alright.  I was actually not in too bad of a condition, I only had minimal tearing and two stitches took care of that.  I was also still shaking, mostly due to the adrenaline coursing through my body.  I birthed the placenta shortly thereafter and after they got Corbin cleaned up and a little more pink, they went ahead and weighed him, gave him his shots and brought him back over to me. 
A healthier looking Corbin a couple hours later
My first impression was a little marred by the bruising on his poor face.  I had apparently pressed him against my pelvic bone and they warned me that he might be a little bruised and swollen for a bit.  It quickly went away though, and I went about trying to nurse him.  He took to it like a champ.  Everything seemed alright, he appeared healthy except for low blood sugar levels which needed to be rectified by my nursing him.  He was very content and mellow, and I just relished in the skin to skin contact. 

How in the world did this little guy fit inside of me?
My recovery surprised me, I was up on my feet rather quickly and able to take a shower.  Because of a couple minor complications they wanted to keep my in the hospital for at least twenty four hours, which I was fine with. I spent Corbin’s birthday just chilling with him and surfing the internet on my iPad (ok, mainly facebook) and seeing the reactions of people when we announced his birth.  People were a little confused at his birthday, until they remembered we were in Japan and it was already the next day. 
This baby is perfectly chill.  So mellow and easy so far.  The first pic on the internet was his poor black and blue face so I had to get a prettier one when he looked better up ASAP.  He’s a chunk, and at over 9 lbs, I’m trying to figure out how he managed to fit inside of me.  I’m in love with him.  When his sisters came to visit, they were very curious of him.  Ashlyn absolutely adores him.  Good thing too, they will be sharing a birthday season for the rest of their lives. 

Quick family picture. 
Being at home, my recovery is going well, and right now the big concern is Jaundice, which seems to be a problem with all of my babies.  However, we are doing well, adjusting nicely, and I’m having to remind myself that I just gave birth and let my mom and husband dote on me.  It can be difficult with two older children who want me, but we are managing.  I am oh so grateful to have my mother here, and for having an easy infant so far.  We’ll see how I manage once my mom leaves and Gus is back at work again.  I think that will be the biggest transition of all. 

Welcome to the Donnelly Family little Corbin.   


New Years Resolutions: 2014/2015 edition

You know, I love the idea of having a set of goals to accomplish for the year, and then looking back and seeing how I did.  Sometimes looking back can be depressing, or it can be a chance to reassess where your priorities lie.  My goals have definitely changed over the years.  So this year has been kind of everywhere, in a good way!  I think I did ok, cause I knew before hand where life was going, which mostly dictated where our resolutions were aimed.  How did we do for 2014? 

1. Stay sane -  In the scheme of things, I did pretty ok, though I have moments where I lose it.  I'm a mom, what more can I say?  And my daughter loves to push my buttons.  However, we are managing to cope.  My house is not always clean (pretty much never clean) but we will manage. 

 2. Try not to get pregnant until after Ashlyn turns one (if we get pregnant at all) - Ashlyn was a good fifteen months old when the stork decided to visit.  Yes, it was an accident, we weren't trying.  However, I was starting to feel like we were supposed to have another one.  This little Nugget (his prenatal name until he makes his arrival) will probably be our last, and he is welcome to our family.  Though I was a bit stunned when that pregnancy stick showed that second little line.  Totally not expecting it.

 3. Learn How to Make Sushi -  This skill alludes me.  I do have a sushi making kit, and one day I will learn.  It was not going to be 2014 however.  Besides, I live in Japan, whenever I want Sushi, I have my choice of authentic sushi just outside the gate.  I'm sure I'll learn before we leave here though

4. Downsize - Oh yes, we downsized.  Got rid of a bunch of stuff, and it felt great!  Still have some more to do though.

 5. See a Foreign Country - Living it!  We are in Japan and we do love it here.  It is a great experience, though the winters are long, but they are manageable. 

5.1.  Don't get Cancer -This one is a bit tongue in cheek, mostly because of the fears with the Fukushima power Plant disaster.  We have no worries up here, we're pretty well isolated from that and a lot of those fears are unfounded.  Kind of a fear mongering in a lot of ways.  We do have potassium Iodine though if we do feel like we need to worry.  The larger threat is down south of here

6. Leadman - Dang it, we sold my bike and I didn't get a new one.  I also didn't really have anyone to watch my kids at the time so it just didn't happen.  Gus did it though. 

 6.1 Bloomsday! -  Signed up and was ready to do it.  Nobody to watch my kids though.  There was a bit of an issue that day as well, I won't go into details.  Anyway, I didn't do it.  Kind of bummed about it too.  I got a double stroller to walk the kids and everything but I think they had to be registered or something.  We just forewent the whole thing.  I was kind of under a lot of stress because we were one week out from our trip to Japan and we were closing on our house.  Just kind of a stressful time. 

 7. Make our Move a Smooth One - You know, I really can't complain about how our move went, in a lot of ways it was very smooth.  I wish we got a slightly different configuration with our house (one of my pet peeves, laundry in the kitchen, I was unable to escape but I'm dealing with it) but overall we are learning to look for the positives of our living arrangements.  Gus does miss his Garage though.  I miss having a yard that the kids can go play in, plus having acreage.  But overall, it went well. 

 8.  Learn how to read Japanese -   I actually did have the Kana down pretty well when we first got here.  I have to have a refresher on it though and constantly keep looking at it.  We don't get out the gate enough to be forced to know it, because most signs are in Kana and Romanji, and as long as things are in Romanji, you don't have to know the Kana or the Kanji.  The Kanji though, that might be a lost cause.  I know a little, but there is so much to learn that it is difficult to stay on top of unless you put forth the effort.  I think I can relearn the Kana again pretty quickly, though sometimes I feel it's a bit redundant for having two basic character systems with the same sounds, but that's part of Japanese, learn to love it.  I have the Hiragana down a little bit better than the Katakana though. 

9.  Show Greater Patience with my Resident Two (now Three) Year Old -  We're working on it.  She's still a handful, but we are working on it.  She at least understands more.  She starts preschool very soon and we have her in some classes like tumbling and signed her up for Soccer (that should be interesting) just to help her funnel that energy in a productive manner.  When I show greater patience versus frustration, I notice she does so much better.  But I'm human, I just need to channel my energy better as well.  We'll continue to work on it. 

10 - exercise more -   I think this one was going well, until I got pregnant.  For a good month and a half this summer I was doing awesome, was getting my run time down quite a bit.  My goal was to get running in case I did get pregnant, I could run through my pregnancy.  I forgot about the fatigue I get though.  First trimester was relatively easy except for the lack of motivation and will power to do anything.  But I did do very well for that month and a half, once baby is here and things have settled a bit, I will try to get back into that routine. 

So overall, I don't think I did to bad.  I had some successes, and a couple of washes, but overall I'm not complaining.  It was a fairly mild year for resolutions overall.  So, what do we have for 2015?  Well, January is almost over, but it gave me a chance to really think about what goals and plans I have in mind. 

1. Natural Childbirth - I think this one is doable.  Yes, we are expecting again, a little boy due in May.  I have had two children sans drugs already, and you might look at me like I'm a little crazy for forgoing the drugs, and maybe I am?  But the thought of having a needle inserted in my spine is just as crazy to me.  And I have always had an aversion to drugs.  So we are going for a natural, drug free birth.  I can do it!  Though if complications do arise, the important thing is baby is healthy. 

2. Organize my Life/ Set up guest room - Ok, you might wonder about this one.  Well, we live in a three bedroom apartment.  We have no garage.  We have one little storage area in the front of our apartment, and we didn't downsize quite enough like we should have.  So the third bedroom is where Ashlyn sleeps and all the rest of our stuff is.  It is a disaster, but she doesn't climb out of the crib so we have been able to make it work.  However, it is the guest room if we ever have visitors, so we need to go through it and find a place for everything, or just get rid of it.  It's happening, slowly but it's happening!

3. One big trip Once a Quarter - This is actually a goal for the three remaining years we are in Japan.  There is so much to do and see that we have to really plan those trips.  This year will probably be dwindled down to three, because of baby and everything, but we want to make these trips to go see the sites.  Summer is the best time to travel, and there is a limited window there to really see Japan where we live.  We have not made it down to Tokyo yet, but I want to make Tokyo at least a yearly trip.  There are other places we want to visit, such as Sapporo, Seoul (seriously, there's a hop to Seoul every week, it would be crazy not to go there), and pretty much southern Honshu Island.  We are in Northern Honshu Island, as far north as you can go and still be on the big island.  Tohoku region, which is where we are at, is not where most people think when they think of Japan.  Most of the sites are down south.  We are not without our charm though.  Anyway, a Big Trip is an overnight trip that takes at least three days to do.  We have a list of things to see while we are here, we have seen a lot of Aomori, there is still so much we want to see and do.   We did want to go see China and the great wall, but that has been budgeted out.  We have to find a different way of doing it.

3.1.  Mini trips once a month in summer- In conjunction with above, the weekends are our time, especially in the summer.  That time is gold.  Last year we got into the habit of going camping once a month and picking a destination to go check out.  We will continue this tradition this year.  It might get a bit of a delay due to baby, but these trips are mostly geared around Tohoku, and mostly northern Tohoku, basically Aomori, Iwate and Akita prefectures.  Pretty much drive somewhere, find a place to camp, and explore.  It's actually a lot of fun.  There is always something new to see. 

3.2.  Major Festivals Year Round - Japan lives for festivals, if you want to get into the true Japanese experience, this is the way to do it.  There is a snow festival coming up, one in Hirosaki, Towada, Iwate and of course Sapporo, the Sapporo snow festival is a must do while we are here which might have to wait until next year or 2016, but we will probably do Towada this year.  We hit up the Aomori Nebuta which was definitely worth catching last year.  There is Cherry Blossom viewing in April/May (this one we can't go far with this year) and plenty of other exciting things to see.  Every region has a major festival they are known for.  I just need to have a list and start knocking them out.  They are a lot of fun to visit. 

4. Run - After baby gets here, I have a B.O.B. and I'm not afraid to use it.  I also think Kaia would want to just run with me on the track.  Girl seriously loves to run.  otherwise, she can sit in the front of the stroller and I'll push the kiddos around.  My goal is to get under 18:00 on my two mile run.  Yeah, I know, but I've never been a runner.  This is my first goal.  We'll go from there. 

4.1 Base Races - Misawa does a lot of fun runs throughout the year.  I did an adventure race last year (at six weeks pregnant, yikes!) that I had a blast doing.  I just want to take advantage of these races and use them as my goal.  The races I'll focus on are the ones in late June and after.  I won't push myself much before then, because, you know, baby. 

5. Live the Title Soccer Mom - My mothering experience will be complete while I shuttle my first born to whatever activities we sign up for her.  Right now she's in tumbling.  She's also in Preschool.  We signed her up for soccer later this spring.  We also have the option of putting her into dance and some other activities, as well as little sister who will probably be doing activities later this summer too.  There is a reading group / story time at the library.  One thing I have learned about these is that it provides structure, which is good for Kaia (seriously, she needs all the routine and structure she can get right now) and it is good for me, because it keeps me on routine too.  I just have to be careful not to overdo it where it stresses me out.  getting out of the house is always a plus anyway.  Sometimes that can be difficult during the week, but when you have to be somewhere, it kind of forces your hand.

6. Potty Training - So I am letting Kaia take the lead on potty training right now, and she is showing signs that she is so ready (this has come and gone several times in the last year or so, she shows interest, and then she loses interest).  Ashlyn is starting to show the signs too.  I am hoping to have BOTH of them potty trained this year.  Kaia will probably be finished before baby arrives, hopefully we can knock this one out in February.  I really think Ashlyn, who's a second born and a bit of a copy cat in a lot of ways, takes the cues from her sister here.  I would love to have just one in diapers.  That would be totally awesome.  It is difficult though when we do a lot of traveling.  I think that's what stopped Kaia from doing it earlier when she was showing she was ready this past summer. 

7. Preparedness - Ok, for those who don't know, I'm a Mormon.  I hold no shame in that declaration.  Mormons are all about preparedness.  So there is only a limited amount of things we can do while we are here, but I really want to make sure my preparedness plan is set and up to date, especially with a new member of the family joining us later this spring.  If an emergency does happen, the Air Force will ship me and the kids back to the States.  Truthfully, I have to have a bunch of paperwork and things in order for that to happen, so I need to be sure that stuff is set.  Also, get my 72 hour kit repacked and up to date as well as a lot of things.  This is an important goal, I really need to get it done.  I encourage everyone to have a little plan in case of an emergency, even if its something small like a power outage.  I want to make this a big goal this year to have everything in order.  A year supply of food, hah!  That's not happening here, but I would like to have at least a month's worth. 

8. DA Photo / Military Biography - I need one of these up to date.  When we go down South, hopefully this summer, I'm going to plan on getting one done.  It's low priority, but I need it.  I also need to write up my military biography.  There are opportunities in the IRR for me (right now it's low priority, because, you know, Pregnant) and these things will help this along.  The Mil Biography should be written pretty soon.  The DA Photo will have to wait until later this year.  I just need to get them both done. 

9. Hire a Mamasan - I might have misspelled that.  Basically people hire locals to come do a good clean their houses, they are called Mamasans, and they are thorough and good at their job.  I so need one, just twice a month.  Gus has already agreed to it.  I know he feels better coming home to a clean home. 

9.1. Keep the house between Mamasan visits - This might be a tall order, but relatively neat would be nice.  A steam cleaner might be necessary too.  We'll put that on the list, I did not miss having carpets at our last home.

10. Prepare to Go to the Temple - This is another Mormon Related Resolution, I won't go into detail with the theology and doctrine behind this resolution for my non-Mormon readers, but it is a very personal thing for each person.  It hasn't been a huge goal in my life prior to now (though it should have been), but it is becoming more and more important to me.  It might just be me going for now, but eventually I would like to see our whole family go and get sealed (that is a goal that has to be Gus's as well, not just mine, and I can't nor I won't force him to do it), and I think it would be awesome to call the Tokyo Japan Temple 'our' temple.  I might not make it to the Temple this year, but hopefully it will be a goal we achieve before we leave here. 

Ten's a good round number (not counting the handful of sub resolutions I have listed).  There are some long term goals we have over the next three years we have remaining here too, but those are in another post, and maybe slightly referenced in this one. 

Anyway, we'll see how the resolutions go.  And maybe, I can blog more.  Just maybe.  I do miss it, I just have trouble finding the time to spill my words out when I have little ones that like to vie for my attention.  And I do like to ramble quite a bit, which is why the short quick nature of Facebook seems to work so much better for me.  Thought to be honest, I've largely weaned myself from that lately too.  We'll consider it a good thing, for now. 

See you next year :P

2014 Year in Review

So here is my year in review, at the tail end of January.  I really like to do these, as it is a nice wrap up of the prior year, though lately, it appears that this is all I do with my blog anymore.

 01. What did you do in 2014 that you'd never done before?
Moved across the ocean, with my family.  I have lived overseas in the past, but it was always in a deployment setting.  This is different.  This is actually moving your whole life. 

 02. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did ok.  See my next post. 

 03. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Gobs of cousins, we are all in the child birth phase in our lives, and I've got a lot of cousins.  The Erickson's especially are known for reproducing.  Also, Misawa is a Baby Base.  Everyone here seems to be pregnant, with a newborn, or probably going to be getting pregnant in the very near future.  Seriously, something is in the water.

 04. Did anyone close to you die?

I had a cousin who committed suicide unfortunately.  She is family, though I haven't seen her in many years.  She suffered from some severe depression and it was a truly tragic situation. 

 05. What countries did you visit?

Japan.  We almost went to S. Korea, but that is probably going to be on the list while we are here, if we can somehow finagle it with children. 

 6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?

A little more alone time.  I have to take advantage of nap time, except we have decided that Kaia no longer gets naps unless she manages to go down early in the day.  She was staying up too late and taking late afternoon naps.  We had to get her into some kind of routine.  It has helped tremendously. 

 07. What date from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

May 11/12th.  Longest day of my freakin life!  And yes, it was technically two days, but the sun never went down on May 11th and never came up on May 12th, so it just turned into one big, long day.  We flew to Japan from the states. 

 08. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Getting out the Gate and seeing Japan when we first got here.  We really made an effort to go site seeing and exploring, and it really made a huge difference and has gotten us excited about living here.  Also, selling our house and buying a new one (we didn't want our equity floating around in a bank account), though selling that house was a huge bittersweet moment.  I have so many memories of that place and have a sentimental attachment to it.  fortunately, I'm used to moving, and I have a four year curse on me (I have never lived in one house for longer than four years, I thought I would actually break that curse, hah!)

 09. What was your biggest failure?

The situation dealing with the one and only blog post of 2014 that was not related to New Years.  I went back and read it and shook my head.  I never got proper closure from that, though I tried to at the last minute, but it looks like I never will.  It still gets my goat sometimes when I think about it, and I wish I could get closure.  However, one day I will, and right now I'm far removed from the whole situation so I don't really have to think about it. 

 10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Does Pregnancy count?  Hah!  No, I'm doing pretty well actually, though Pregnancy did stop a lot of things in my life from happening. 

 11. What was the best thing you bought?

I guess a new house.  We sold a ton of stuff and downsized quite a bit.  We still have more downsizing to do while we are here. 

 12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Does this question just bug me or something?  Anyway, 'Merica, for voting the way it did in 2014 elections I guess.  I was a fan of how the Midterms played out.  Though I still hate politicians and am watching those dang republicans and seeing how they play their hand now that they control congress. 

 13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
This question is kind of inline with the question above.  Ugh!   I guess my own in reaction to that earlier incident, and the person who that 'post' applied to just really frustrated me to the point that I broke off all contact with them. 

 14. Where did most of your money go?
Out of a bunch of material possessions and into another house.  Also a move happened in there, but a lot of that was covered and not really out of pocket.  Also, traveling around Japan.

 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Take a guess.  We were really excited about moving to Japan, and it has been a fun experience for the most part. 

 16. What songs will always remind you of 2014?

'All about that Bass' I guess.  I heard a few songs but I must be getting old because for the most part they annoy the crap out of me. 

 17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

I think it's a wash, I was doing pretty good this time last year and I feel pretty good this year. 

 ii. Thinner or fatter?

 Fatter.  Definitely fatter.  I'm pregnant.

iii. Richer or poorer?

  Good questions.  I guess we're doing pretty well, we don't have the monetary obligations we did before and a lot of money is going into savings.  We sold off a bunch of stuff so we are probably richer, but we are living in an apartment (that I'm not the biggest fan of) and it is a far cry from the experiences of living out in the country, so in that regard, I feel poorer, but we have tried to make up for it. 

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Gotten outside the gate more toward the end of 2014, since becoming pregnant, we kind of got tied to the house, the first trimester I got really car sick when we went on road trips, the and roads here are pretty curvy unless you take the toll roads.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Complain about our living conditions.  Granted, it's not ideal, I hate the kitchen and the bathrooms, but we are discovering the perks of tower living with toddlers.  I'm glad this is not a permanent situation and that we don't have to pay the bill here, so there's that.  I really need to count my blessings more and complain less in general.  I am very blessed. 

 20. How did you spend Christmas?
It was a quiet morning, we gathered around the Christmas Tree, opened stockings and presents, sipped Wassail, and decided to find out what we were having (it's a Boy!) and then announced that we were pregnant on Social Media (I was keeping that one close to my heart).  We spent the rest of the day pretty much chilling at home and watching movies while Gus played with my present (he got me a GoPro, I almost got him one so it was good that I didn't)

 22. Did you fall in love in 2014?

 I fell in love with Japan and its people.  Is that a bit clich├ę? 

23. Favorite Month 0f 2014

 You know, this year has been a pretty good year in all.  August was hot and muggy, but we did so much and got out and saw so much, it's a great time of year to discover Japan. 

 24. What were your favourite TV programs?

  How many kid shows can a person watch?  Seriously?  I don't think I got into any tv shows here that I really enjoy immensely.  Gus does watch a lot of TV, its how he decompresses after coming home from work, but I generally zone out and surf my phone instead.  I have low tolerance for tv these days.  So I guess I didn't answer this question.  Can I say that I have discovered I really can't stand Cartoon Network cartoons? 

 25. Did you have a falling out with anyone that remains unresolved?

Yes, it has been mentioned.  Yes, I'm still frustrated about the whole situation.  I guess this question needs to be rephrased again because this question is often answered earlier in question 13.  Alright, new question for next year, we'll come up with one to replace this one, or perhaps a question to replace 12 and 13. 

 26. What was the best book you read?
I actually read Wonder by RJ Palacio for a book club, it was fantastic and a quick read.  Highly recommend reading it, it has a great story and moral and despite being geared towards fifth grade reading level, really quite excellent. 

 27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Music?  Er, huh?  I don't think I really discovered anything new in music, and if I did, I have already forgotten it so that tells you everything you need to know. 

 28. What did you want and get?

An all expense paid trip to Japan and the

 29. What did you want and not get?

 A car not named after a terrorist organization.  Seriously, I drive a car called a Toyota Isis.  Ironic. 

 30. What was your favourite film of this year?

Maleficent, which I saw on DVD.  I never went to the theater, not even once, this year that I can recall.   We area also a Frozen household, what you do when you have little kids.  It has a high rewatchability factor, fortunately.  and it is adorable listening to my daughter sing to the title song.

 31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

 I turned 34.  I was back in the states with my family.  I had to drop Gus off at the Airport.  We went and saw Breezy the day before. 

 32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If I could have gone back to the States a time other than during the holidays.  It is not a great time to visit with young children because everyone is so busy that you can't just drop them off on whoever and its hard to go around doing stuff with them that I needed to do.  I did leave them a couple of times with my mom and felt it was necessary to get back to them because I could tell my mom was busy trying to get ready for Thanksgiving and I didn't want to leave them with her for to long.  There were a few people to see and things I wanted to do while back in the states that I didn't get to do because of that, but it's ok.  I still love my kiddos.

 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
The same fashion concept I have every year.  Mostly jeans and a t-shirt, though I notice my wardrobe is starting to get a little more mature lately.  I must be growing up finally.

 34. What kept you sane?

Getting outside the gate.  Not a task for the feint of heart with young children. 
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you like the most?
Celebrity figures?  What are those?  Hah!

Ok, I'll give you Ted Cruz.  I kind of like this guy.  Also Mia Love.  Yes, a couple of politicians.  I hope to see more from both of them.  There were a few others. 

 36. What political issue stirred you the most?
There was an election last year, so everything seemed to be geared toward that.  Mainly ISIS I guess.  Gun Control keeps seeming to pop up, I voted in the election last year specifically for that reason, it was the only thing on the ballot that I cared about.  Of course, it passed, Dang you Washington!  Well, I'm an Idaho resident now.  Le Sigh. 

 37. Who/what did you miss?
My friends and family back in the states, and my horse.  Oh gosh I miss my horse! 

 38. Who was the best new person you met?
I have met so many great and fantastic people here in Misawa that I don't think I can narrow it down, but I guess I can say Misawa LDS Military Ward is a group of people that I don't know what I would do without. 

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014.
Count your blessings.  I get overwhelmed sometimes with my children and life sometimes, but when this happens, I have to just take a step back and remember how truly blessed I really am, and I truly am blessed. 

 40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Let It Go (overplayed, yes, but definitely applicable)


Streamlining Life

So I deactivated Facebook, which might be why I am currently blogging on my neglected blog.  Kind of a sad chain of events I know.  But don't see this as a sign that I'll post here more frequently.  Though who knows, I might.

So what started this?  I guess it begins with the drama of Facebook, and social media in general, a drama that I was feeding myself into like a stupid insecure teenage girl.  I'm a 33 year old woman for criminy's sake, why am I feeding into that?  And it really was over something stupid that was bugging the snot out of me and making me into the exact person that I really can't stand, bringing out all of the insecurities of my time as a teenager and twenty-something.  Furthermore, right now, I just don't have time.

In the middle of everything that is going on right now, we are preparing to put our house on the market, I'm trying to sort through and get rid of stuff (a much needed forced dejunking) , I'm awaiting my orders into the IRR where I will likely be for the next few years (while I still have to drill in the meantime) , and I'm raising a very precocious and active two year old girl, along with her nine month old sister who is full fledged walking.  I don't have time for the drama and time suck that is Facebook, which is so easy to get absorbed into that before you know it, three hours have passed and you haven't done squat.  The stress of everything had to be getting to me and causing me to react to stupid trivial stuff in a way that was uncharacteristic of me.

I talked to several people about this, they all basically said the same thing, that I was making a mountain out of a mole hill and it was not a big deal, so don't make it into drama.  My sister suggested I delete Facebook, and when she said it, the spontaneity of it was brilliant.  I just needed to turn off that time suck, delete the app from my phone and use the precious time to get things done around the house.   And if, in the event that my daughter demands my time and prevents me from accomplishing my chores, perhaps I should, I don't know, focus my attention on her instead.  I don't want my kids to remember me as being glued to the damn phone.

The question is, will I return to Facebook?  Undoubtedly, for all of its faults, it's a great way to stay connected with friends and family, though I will undoubtedly streamline it so I am not following so many pages.  We are moving overseas in a few months, and that is one of the prime ways to stay connected with loved ones short of talking to them on the phone, and I don't know how often I will get to do that.  However, I think just sitting down and deactivating Facebook every now and then is good for the soul, just a clean break from social media so you can turn your attention on the important things, namely family and spending quality time with children, watching them grow and trying to build them into becoming responsible individuals.  I see a lot of character traits in my daughter that she shares with me.  I want this to be a positive thing, not a negative.  It took me a long time to get comfortable in my own skin, so to revert back to defensiveness and petty grudges over something that ultimately does not matter is not on my agenda at the moment.  I'm an adult, in this era of perpetual childhood, I really need to act like one.

And right now, my life requires me to focus on the things that matter and not get wrapped up in the trivial matters that come with Facebook.


Resolutions, 2013/2014

Wow, I don't need to say it, but life has just sort of taken me completely away from computers so I basically live on my iPhone these days, and very rarely do I blog.  But what's a little New Year's Resolution Post going to hurt?  That's right, nobody.  So here it goes, how did I do this year on my Resolutions?


That's a preview.

 1. Grow a garden - Gus rototilled the garden area out, but I successfully grew a lot of knap weed.

 2. Do at least one meal a week by scratch - This one was really hit and miss.  I could say I did pretty well to be honest, I rocked November.  December, well. . .

3. Eat more fruits and vegetables - Another amber resolution.  I think I did better than last year, but I still had far too many veggies go bad in the veggie drawer.

4. Milk Cow Daily - You know, I really did do pretty good for the month that I had her.  But alas, it was proven that she was not bred back and there was no way I could keep her in milk while I had my own baby.  And now that I have two children under the age of three, it was probably a wise idea that I got rid of the cow.  But in the future, when my children are older, I would love to have another one.

4.1 Milk the Goat -I no longer own goats.  And I never milked them when I had them.

4.2 - Learn to make my own Cheese, Butter, Yogurt, etc - Well, I know how to make butter.  But making stuff from scratch, and from absolute scratch, well, when my kids are not so demanding, maybe I'll get on this one. 

 5. Attend church at least twice a month - Gus doesn't really do church, and I can't force him too.  I knew that when I married him.  I still love him, however I can't do church with two kids (and mostly Kaia) and without him.  I don't get anything out of it other than feeling stressed.  So maybe I need to focus on my own personal enrichment.

6. Do More Art - I once considered myself an artist?

7. Learn a new craft skill - My friend recently taught me the basics of knitting.  It looks like a lot of fun.  I want to continue.  But I fear I have already forgotten what she taught me.  Still, I made an effort in the right direction.

7.1 Make more quilts -  Hah!  Ashlyn is still waiting for her homemade baby blanket from me. 

8. Breastfeed through the new year - I actually completed one?  Wow!  Still breastfeeding my little Bean Sprout.

9. Graduate from College - I will blame this one on the sequester delaying my plans by messing with my tuition assistance.  And then I had a baby and never got back on it. 

10. Exercise more - If by more, I mean more than last year, I failed.  I started exercising, but it really didn't last long.

10.1 Complete one full cycle of P90X - I did about three weeks of T25, I'm thinking of ordering P90X3 but, well, I failed big time. 

11. Read one new book a month - Books?  What are those?

So, how did I do?  Um, awful.  But you know what?  I'm not going to let it get me down.  New Year's Resolutions for this year?  Let me see. . .

1. Stay sane -  No, really, this is a legitimate resolution.  I need to remain with my sanity intact, it is going to be a little crazy this year for me. 

2. Try not to get pregnant until after Ashlyn turns one (if we get pregnant at all) - we're toying with this idea of having a third child, because Gus really wants a boy and we have two girls (who we absolutely love)  but I'll be honest.  Kids are work!  It also impacts your body and wears you out.  So, if we do end up having number three in the near future (they have to come before I turn 35 or we aren't having them at all, that's my rule) I need to at least give myself a bit of a break before we start with the whole bun in the oven thing.  So I want to wait until Ashlyn is at least a year.  Preferably I would like the next kid to make it until after Ashlyn turns two, but we'll see where we are at.

3. Learn How to Make Sushi - I got a sushi making kit for Christmas.  I love me some Sushi, so it would make sense if I learned how to actually make it myself. 

4. Downsize - Working on it now, we are getting rid of a lot of stuff.  And I mean pretty much half of what I own.  This will probably be a green resolution because my hand is being forced into it.  I don't mind.

5. See a Foreign Country - If everything goes well, this should be an auto green also.  We are moving to Japan.

5.1.  Don't get Cancer - Fukushima is not the place to hang out or so I'm told.  Hopefully the fallout doesn't affect myself and my family.  Perhaps we will be stocking up on different holistic remedies?  We shall see.

6. Leadman - I'm doing it this year, nobody is going to stop me!  well, something or someone might, but it's the only race I feel like I really can do, that and Bloomsday.  Hmm, that makes a great secondary resolution.

6.1 Bloomsday! -  That settles it.  I'm running this year!

7. Make our Move a Smooth One - Did I mention already we're moving to Japan?  Yeah, about that.  I get to be an Air Force Spouse!   Maybe I need some Japanese Resolutions?

8.  Learn how to read Japanese -  Yeah, that might be a resolution we'll be working on for the next four or so years. . . along with speaking it too.  And not just Sayanara and Kannichiwa. 

9.  Show Greater Patience with my Resident Two Year Old - I'm a mother of a two year old, who seems to have entered the terrible twos about eight months early, only to really demonstrate what the terrible twos are all about when she actually turned two.  I love her to death, but I feel like a perpetual stress case.  I need to work on being more relaxed and patient with her.  And sometimes, I just need to learn how to let things roll off my back. 

10 - exercise more -  Yes, that one is a gimme.  What's a new year's resolution list without the dreaded 'e' word showing its face somewhere?  That, and if I do get pregnant this year, I want to be in decent shape. 

So there you have it.  That's my list.  I'll see you next year.


2013 Year In Review

I skipped this annual tradition last year.  I still have it saved in my drafts, unfinished, because it got pushed to the side like so many things have in my life. 

 01. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?

 Became mother to a two year old.  That is something in and off itself.  I also did a couple trail rides competitively that I hadn't done before.

02. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

 I always make them, don't always keep them.  This year I did pretty horrid.

03. Did anyone close to you give birth?

 Well, now that you mention it.  The one and only blog post this year that wasn't centered around new year's was my daughter's birth story.   I also had quite a few cousins give birth. 

04. Did anyone close to you die?

 Tim, my barn cat.  This hit me hard, mainly because it was my fault.  I accidentally ran him over and it made me sick to my stomach. 

05. What countries did you visit?

 None.  No new states either. 

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?

 Sanity.  And Time. 

07. What date from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
May 3.  Take a guess.

 08. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Delivering a healthy baby girl in under two hours of labor with no drugs.  That was pretty awesome actually. 

 09. What was your biggest failure?

 Not getting my garden in.  Really, it's been kind of a chill year in that regards.  I can't think of any at the moment.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Does childbirth count?  Though I came out of it pretty well.  I also got bucked off a horse and maybe broke my thumb (sucked it up and didn't see a doctor, but it hurt for a few weeks so I'm guessing it was bruised pretty well at least)

 11. What was the best thing you bought?
A Mini-Van

 12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Whenever Kaia goes to the potty on the toilet, or listens to me, and doesn't destroy my house, it merits celebration.  Yay Kaia!

 13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
I try not to let other people get to me, so maybe it is time for this question to be rephrased.  Anyway, Kaia got to me several times, being a two year old (throwing phone into the toilet, smearing poop all over the house, doing a lot of questionable crap with said poop), and in subsequent actions, I get mad and frustrated with myself. 

 14. Where did most of your money go?

To kids and various 'projects'.

 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

 Gus getting orders out of here. 

16. What songs will always remind you of 2013?

 Wrecking Ball is a guilty pleasure. 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

 Oh gosh, I think I'm more stressed now.  Just where things are.

ii. Thinner or fatter?

 Thinner, only because I'm not four months pregnant.

iii. Richer or poorer?

 I'd say it's a draw. 

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Ran more, or just did more activities, whether it be races, running, adventures, snowboarding, snowmobiling, things like that.  This was a pretty activity-less year.  Although I did a couple trail rides that were pretty awesome and I wish I had discovered them earlier.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Sat on my ass surfing the net on my iPhone.  The thing eats time.  I told my husband I wanted a basic flip phone with texts when I was ready to upgrade, he talked me into another iPhone and I kick myself.    

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Quietly, at home, with my family.  Very mellow and easy going day.  Christmas Eve was spent at my sister's house playing games and eating dinner. 

 22. Did you fall in love in 2013?

Yes, I have a second child now.  No matter how much they stress you out, you can't help but love them

23. Favorite Month 0f 2013

New Question for this year.  I'll say May.  Because new baby and all, and it had some fantastic weather.  Though I must admit, Spokane really rocked October.  Perfect Fall weather.  September was a pretty great month as well.

 24. What were your favourite TV programs?

  I started getting into Breaking Bad, didn't finish it.  Phineas and Ferb is hilarious. 

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I try not to hate on people.  Really, juvenile question.  Next year it will be rephrased to say something like, Did you have a falling out with anyone that left a particularly bad taste in your mouth?  To which I will reply for this year, hmm, not really.  (I think most of the questions on this little year in review were written by a teenager at the time I found them)

 26. What was the best book you read?

 I didn't really read, but I did a fair bit of writing (its my escape, when I get into a writing mood I have to write my way out of it)

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

 What Does The Fox Say?  Ok, so I totally cheated because my brain is mush. . .

28. What did you want and get?

 A sushi making kit.

29. What did you want and not get?

A knitting kit, but it's all good.  I'll get one later. 

 30. What was your favourite film of this year?

 I think I saw a grand total of five films this year.  I don't sit through movies anymore and the movies I do watch are geared toward families, so I'll say Monster's University. 

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 33.  My husband took me to eat Sushi.  He knows me well. 

 32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Having a perfectly content and well-mannered two year old, but you know what?  Honestly I wouldn't trade her for the world, no matter how destructive and rambunctious she is.

 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?

Unkept appearance.

 34. What kept you sane?

 I have a two year old.  I am far from sane at this moment.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you like the most?

Dr. Ben Carson is up there, though I disagree with him on Gun Control.  Otherwise, argh, I cant think of any!  I'm caught up in mommy world that public figures don't hold my attention these days

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

 Gun Control and ObamaCare.  I am against them both.

37. Who did you miss?
Maybe this should say 'What'.  What did I miss?  Not one, but two weddings, and subsequently opportunities to catch up with many cousins, friends and family.

 38. Who was the best new person you met?

A little girl named Ashlyn

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.

 Life's to short to get to stressed out, because when it is all said and done, it doesn't matter, it's just infuriating at the time you are in the middle of it.  You'll laugh about it later. 

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

  Drive me crazy!


Ashlyn's Birth Story

On May 3, 2013, Ashlyn Sage Donnelly joined our family and brought our number to four.  It was quite an interesting journey!  But let me start at the beginning.

We were wanting to have at least two children, wanted them close in age, and I want to be done with childbearing by the time I hit 35 so we could still be relatively young enough to enjoy raising our kids.  I'm currently 32, so with the possibility of having one more, we wanted to make sure we hit the timing right.  We weren't really trying when Ashlyn was conceived, but we weren't doing anything to prevent a pregnancy either.  It was really just a let things come if they may type situation.

If we had a boy, Gus was done and we would consider our family complete, but a second girl was in our future so we are going to try one more time and take what we get.  After experiencing a pregnancy with a very busy toddler under foot, I have decided that the next one will need to be spaced out a little more, so when this little one gets to be about fourteen to sixteen months old, we'll be looking at getting pregnant one final time.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

My 'Due Date' was May 9th, but I had this sneaky suspicion I wouldn't make it that far from early on, and this being my second pregnancy, with a daughter that was 17 months old, I was feeling it.  I wanted to make it to 38 weeks, so I have been trying to take it easy while at the same time trying to not put my entire life on hold.  As I got closer and closer to my goal, I just felt more and more uncomfortable.  That discomfort kept me cautious, forced to skip two weddings because it was just to close to the end for me to make the trip.  This was especially true about week 36 when they checked me and found that I was already dilated to a 3, though i wasn't effaced.  Something told me from the start that when it happened, it would happen fast.

I didn't have them check me again until this Wednesday, I was one day shy of Week 39, ready to go, but wanting it to happen when she was ready.   My midwife was a little surprised that I was dilated to a 4 and effaced 80%.  She basically told me "As soon as you start labor and you know it's labor, or your water breaks, come in as soon as possible."  This being a second pregnancy, and we living where we did, she didn't want to take any chances for me to wait and labor at home when I was already progressed to where I was at.  She offered to speed things along, but I declined.  I was determined to do this with no interventions.
Ok, so I decided maybe I would do a little bit to speed things along.  I was having Braxton Hicks all day on Wednesday, so family was lingering around after my appointment and helping me get things ready while tracking contractions to make sure they were the real thing or not.  They weren't, they were all over the place.  I have no doubt they were doing something, but labor wasn't progressing.  Yet.  On Thursday, I was still pregnant, for sure it would happen that day, and even jumped on the horse bareback just to see if it would do anything.  I had a couple chickens on stand by for butchering, since that worked the first time (inside joke) but never got around to it.  Took my daughter Kaia for a walk, felt something, but no labor.  

Went to bed Thursday night thinking it could still happen, but Friday might be the day.  I woke up feeling pretty tight and a little sore, but overall, just very pregnant.  My husband left for work and I had my sister and my mother on standby in case I needed them.  It was just me and my daughter and we tried to take it easy while getting some stuff done around the house to prepare for the arrival of this little one.  

Turns out, its fortunate that we were able to wait.  Gus got home, I didn't feel like cooking anything fancy so we threw a frozen pizza in the oven.  We discussed other methods of speeding things along, as  he was feeling a little impatient with the stand by as well.  Nothing quite like being in limbo waiting for a baby to be born.  Me, I've been just focusing on doing what I could around the house.  

Well, about 8:25pm, I felt the first undeniable contraction that felt like 'it'.  I've been having tightness and contractions for weeks, but this was definitely different.  I was still able to move through it, but I had downloaded an app on my phone and when the next one hit a few minutes later, I timed it and gave Gus the heads up that this could be it.  I timed another one and texted my doula to give her the heads up as well that baby might be coming soon.  I wanted to get a couple more timed, just to be sure, and sent a couple texts alerting my sisters while Gus called his mom to arrange for her to pick up Kaia if things continued.  I called my mom and got voicemail.  

By 8:45 I knew this was the real deal and tried to let everyone know while Gus got the car ready and I continued to time the contractions while coordinating with everyone via texts.  I had one sister and my doula heading out for sure, mother in law planning on meeting us at the hospital, getting a hold of the midwife on call and trying to pacify a toddler who was ready to go to sleep and wanted to cuddle with momma, while momma wasn't in the position to cuddle.  

At 9:00, I called my mom again and left a voicemail, letting her know we were heading to the hospital because we were pretty sure this was it.  Gus, being a typical guy, decided that every time I had a contraction he would slow down.  Dork.  I'm not sure he realized that he was taking his life into his hands when he was teasing me like that.  They weren't bad yet, but they were getting a little more intense.  I also noticed the dreaded back and leg labor was back.  Fortunately, my body seemed to realize that it needed to slow down and the contractions went to every five minutes while driving to the hospital.  

We got to the hospital just before 9:30.  One reason we changed hospitals from the first time was because I had to go through triage at the other hospital and I hated triage.  The nurse was horrible, completely discounted my birth plan and it ruined my vibe, but here they took me straight to my room and my midwife was there to assist me.  She had me change into a hospital gown really quick while my support group slowly started to trickle in.  My mom and dad got there first, dad settled on the couch next to Gus and they sat back trying to stay out of the way.  

That's when the contractions really started to hit.  I bent over the bed and tried to endure the contraction, and Gus and Dad were still chatting about whatever, I don't remember.  Dad teasing me about being so serious or something like that, something no man should say to a woman in labor.  I just know when I go through a contraction, I like silence.  That's my thing so I can concentrate.  So the first thing out of my mouth was "Shut up!"  

Midwife noticed that the intensity level had changed and she went straight into supporting me and hitting the pressure points on my back.  After the contraction she quickly monitored baby's heart beat when my mother in law came in.  I went into another contraction while they were talking, and suddenly I'm trying to endure that while subtly telling them to quiet, shushing them but they didn't hear me.  Finally I told them to shut up again a little more forcefully.  

Sister and Doula showed up together and man oh man I was thankful for them as they hit those pressure points while I tried to labor, those contractions were coming up quick with little break between them.  Finally, my midwife asked to check my progress.  This was the one and only time I had been checked since coming into the hospital.  I was dilated to a 7.  I had been there less then thirty minutes.  Things were moving very quickly.  

Ok, sometimes, labor isn't pretty.  A laboring momma isn't really that concerned with otherwise embarrassing factors.  I guess one way to describe one symptom is labor is the feeling that you have to take the biggest crap of your life and you can't.  I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom, I started peeing a little bit and felt like I needed to use the bathroom.  Good thing too, I was able to empty my bladder though I had a contraction right there on the toilet.  I finally had my bloody show at that moment, but nothing else, coming out of the bathroom, another contraction hit me hard and I just braced myself again leaning up against the bed.  At that moment, all I could think is "I don't care, I'm just going to take a crap right here, I don't care if everyone sees me."  I tried to take to have a bowel movement and that's when it hit me, nope, this is not a simple poo, things were moving quickly.  I let everyone know that I had to push.  

Midwife asked me what position I wanted to deliver in, and to be honest, i wasn't sure.  I just knew I didn't want to be on my back like before.  That was miserable.  I just crawled onto the bed on my hands and knees and apparently everyone was in for a shock.  My water was not broke and my sack was apparently sticking out.  My midwife didn't have her gloves on, my mom had to get Gus in the room, we weren't expecting it this quickly.  

Next contraction, I eased her out through the coaching of my midwife.  I was told that she was still in the caul (the birth sack) but I think she had slid out of it.  However, the water gushed after her and drenched her as she let out her first cry.  The first thought I had was 'Woah, that was a rush!'  It was a completely different experience from my first birth and it happened so fast.  She was born at 10:09, about an hour and forty five minutes after I started my first contraction.  

I had to reach between my legs to get my baby, who still had her umbilical cord attached, but I delivered her completely drug free with no interventions.  I was able to do it without grunting (last birth I screamed) That was my goal, that's what I wanted, and the fast delivery was an added bonus.  If I could change anything, I would have wanted to hold my baby longer, but because of the shower of amniotic fluid while she took her first breath, they needed to get it out of her lungs so I had to relinquish my baby to the nurse and let them take care of her while I endured the joys of the after birth.  

My midwife commented that I made more noise while she pressed on my belly to get the excess fluids out then the actual delivery.  I guess I was mentally prepared for the former, not the latter.  
My other sister made it two minutes after Ashlyn was born.  Didn't give everyone a whole lot of time, I know.  Gus joked that the next baby will just fall out.  Hey, these fast births are pretty cool, I'll take 'em!

 Little girl has a bit of a temper to her.  She looks a lot like her sister, but I already noticed a few ways where she is her own person.  She has a darker complexion then Kaia and I think she's going to be a brunette.  She also suckles to soothe herself, so i think we have a binkie girl on our hands.  Kaia never took to one.

Welcome to the family Ashlyn, hope your big sis doesn't beat on you to much.  


Resolutions, 2012/2013 Edition

I'm a little late rolling this one out, but even though my blog is often ignored, I can't break from tradition.  So, I put up resolutions last year, how did I do?

1. Regularly attend church - Ok, I did better this year then years previous, and I was actually doing pretty well at the beginning of the year.  I fizzled out badly toward the middle of the year and then dropped out entirely when I discovered getting up to attend church at 9 was a little harder then I thought it would be.  This year, I don't have to go until 11, so I will likely be shooting for this one again.

2. Get back into shape  - I actually bounced back from having a baby pretty well.  I wanted to get into better shape then I did, and I wanted to be able to continue to work out through a subsequent pregnancy.  Having an infant that is dependent on you can make this task difficult.

2.5 Pass PT test first time out - Passed it, the run by the hair of my teeth, but I passed it. 

3. Run at least 5 races -  I ran two.  Leadman and The Dirty Dash (though the latter wasn't quite a race, more like a fun run where at one point you were forced to just walk in a line)

4. Horse Events - I had plans for this, I ended up doing pattern racing once with Breezy, but getting on the old girl while somebody watched the baby was harder to do then expected.  Would like to do more, but I won't make them a resolution.

5. Meal Planning - I had a couple of months where I successfully did this.  Then Gus changed his schedule to swings and it is harder to meal plan when you are cooking for just yourself. 

6. Breast feed at least 6 months -  Yay!  Smoked this one!  We made it to a year!

7. Agility Training with Scooby -  I no longer own Scooby.  We need a dog that can come indoors, and that requires one that doesn't shed.  I would like to get a dog, but I will wait to get approval from Gus for the next one. 

8. Get a job that coincides with staying home with Baby - .Kind of sort of, but I'll tell you this.  Staying at home with a baby is a full time job!  Plus homesteading, which is what I'm trying to do, also makes it difficult to stay on top of everything.  I have done some stuff with ebay and Craigslist, but it's an on and off kind of thing.  We'll probably continue to do similar stuff this year.  I don't see myself entering the workforce other than Army Reserves once a month. 

9. Get an A in classes while sticking with school -  I did take a couple of breaks, but when I am in class, I do get A's.  I'm not the most reliable student however, and I have been struggling to get my homework in on time.  I used to be able to hold off to the last minute and just wing it out, I have to manage my time better, but hey, I'm still getting As.  If I don't take any breaks, I'll have my degree by June, however i know I will have to delay my last two classes on account of newborn, but that's ok, I should have my degree by the end of the year.

10. Work on baby Number 2 - We're a Go!  She's due in May.

Ok, so I was 3.5 for 10, with 6 partially done resolutions and one flat out not done.  Not bad, not bad.  Could be better. 

So, what does 2013 have in store for me?  Well, only time will tell, but here's an idea of things I want to do...

1. Grow a garden - I had one this year, it was fun and a lot of work, but it wasn't as successful as I would have wanted.  Having free range turkeys didn't help either, especially when they discover your lettuce.  So, we'll be working on another garden this year, and it will be a bigger focus.  Along with fertilizing and all of that jazz. 

2. Do at least one meal a week by scratch - I'm on a goal to get self sufficient, we live on five acres, but with how busy one gets with life, sometimes its easier to just pop a ready made meal in the microwave, as well as those nasty burritos that taste oh so good.  Those ready made meals are not the healthiest things to eat, and baking from scratch is often cheaper and healthier in the long run. 

3. Eat more fruits and vegetables - I guess my list is getting pretty traditional.  The problem with this is it requires you to make multiple trips to the store to get fresh produce.  Getting to the store sometimes can be a challenge.  And i'll be toting around not one, but two little ones.  So this will be a challenge. 

4. Milk Cow Daily - This is going to be one test for the ages.  I have a milk cow.  Can you see a pattern here with my resolutions?  Anyway, I've been milking my cow twice a day since I got her, and using the milk.  So my goal is to get fresh milk for the year.  I've got a lot of people willing to help me in this quest.  She will be going dry for a couple months while she preps for her baby due in May. 

4.1 Milk the Goat - I have a goat, I've had her for almost a year.  I got her as a milking goat, but i never used her as one, so I have to get her prepared to let me milk her.  So I want to get her into milk and use her as one.  Fortunately, when the cow is dry is when I can start milking my goat.  Good times. 

4.2 - Learn to make my own Cheese, Butter, Yogurt, etc - yep, see a pattern?  I'm trying my hand at homesteading.  I might have to get some tools to accomplish this, but with my own milk cow, why not? 

5. Attend church at least twice a month - I'm out once a month just because of Drill Weekends, but I really need to focus on my spiritual needs, and I am more fulfilled when I attend church regularly.  This year, church is two hours later so it should be a little easier.  I also want the munchkins to socialize with kids of like minded values, and I need friends with like minded values too.  I see this as becoming more and more important for myself and my family, so we're going to make an extra effort to attend. 

6. Do More Art - I am neglecting my art, and it is something I really do enjoy, but I never seem to find time for it.  I think if I can find time, I will enjoy this.  We'll settle to once a month, do a painting, or a drawing, something art related.  Maybe get Kaia involved as she gets older. 

7. Learn a new craft skill - I'm thinking knitting or crocheting, something like that.  I finally learned how to use a sewing machine and have made several baby quilts for some family and friends. 

7.1 Make more quilts - This is very enriching to complete a baby quilt.  I have discovered I quite enjoy it.  I made three last year, I know I'm going to make at least one for little Bean, but if I can make several, I can start making it a habit to give them out as gifts.  I love recieving home made gifts, there is something about it, and I think a lot of people appreciate the thought and work put into something handmade. 

8. Breastfeed through the new year - Baby Bean will come in May, I plan on strictly breastfeeding her for the first few months.  The Army might get in the way of my plans, but I hope to continue to breast feed her through her first year.  However, that extends past this resolutions list.

9. Graduate from College - I should complete my Bachelor's degree this year.  I plan to do so, without any breaks I should have my degree completed by this summer, but I know I will be taking at least one. 

10. Exercise more - Generalized, though I should get into specific goals and numbers, as they are easier to judge wether success was reached or not.  Milking a cow does help, but I would really like to work out more even while I'm pregnant.  Right now it's just things that are safe for pregnancy, but overall, just working out regularly, even if its a short walk or a round of yoga or whatever it is, could help with making me feel better. 

10.1 Complete one full cycle of P90X - This will have to be later in the year, so it is later in the resolutions list.  I have to wait until after the baby is born of course, and probably after the six week post partum period, but I think this will make me feel great if I can do it at least once. 

11. Read one new book a month - I used to love to read, still do, but reading much more then this with everything on my plate might be difficult.  Still, would like to try. 

I think that should do it.  Only a year will tell if I succeed or not.