YNP: In the Beginning. . .

Made it bright and early to Yellowstone National Park on Memorial Day, and found out that I was but one of five people scheduled to check in that day. I found this confusing, and it turns out that most of my fellow Wranglers had checked in on Saturday.

I still don't know why I am so special.

Well, it looks like this is going to be a miserable experience where I have to be around smelly horses all day and work long hours with low pay and deal with horrendous customers who have never ridden a horse in their life. It should be a summer in hell.

End Sarcasm.

Ok, from the moment I got here, I've been excited. I haven't been to Yellowstone since I was two, and this place is amazing. Being a National Park, it isn't maintained in the same way that National Forests are, in other words, Yellowstone is maintained as a wild forest. There is definitely still signs of the fire in 1988 here, but there is also great signs of rebirth in the forests as they grow. And there are animals everywhere. Its not uncommon to see a bunch of cars backed up because of a huge bison in the middle of the road.

Turns out if you creep up on the bison, they will get out of your way. If you just stop and wait for it to move, it will just stare at you and think 'how nice of them to stop so I don't have to move'.

Bison appear to own the park. They're everywhere.



Meanwhile, I have made my home in a rustic one room cabin heated only by a woodburning stove where I share the place with three other girls about my age, though I have discovered that I'm the old one in the group. They try to keep the legal ages together for alcohol consumption reasons, though me being the non-partier type, I don't really care.

Much different atmosphere then my year in Kosovo, which was completely dry and I had nothing in common with my roommates.

One of the girls got into a discussion with me on politics, as it was quickly learned that I am in the military, and she wanted my opinion on Bush. I told her my stance, especially as a soldier that I'm supposed to be neutral. Then we got into a discussion about the last presidential campaign and I told her my honest opinion on why I felt Kerry lost. Most specifically, because he had no agenda.

Interestingly enough, the conversation remained civil (she's a democrat that's openminded to conservative views) and so far I'm pretty good friends with all the female wranglers here at Roosevelt. So far. I'm hoping that it remains that way. We have to depend on each other for morale support, and you need plenty of friends for Hiking excursions, adventures with White Water Rafting, Back Country Horseback Riding, so on and so forth.

We are here because we deal with horses. Looking back, I have discovered that it was amazing that I managed to nab this job. Its considered one of the best jobs in the park (though it is hard work) And looking at all the horse experience my coworkers have, I look at myself and think 'oh crap, am I going to come across as a complete idiot in horse matters?' I've never driven a stagecoach before, but this week I get to learn how to do it. All next week we have to get the Dude Horses familiar once again with the trails, so that means that all day every day next week, I'm going to be riding horses.

Oh the agony of it all.

I have to admit that after the first day, I will likely be pretty saddle soar, but I can't imagine a job that fits me better then being paid to take horses on trail rides all day in Yellowstone. And they are totally willing to work with my drill weekends. I only have two while I'm here, and I get to drill in Helena Montana with a sister unit. I have one pretty early in the summer and another toward the end of summer.

Well, as a Wrangler, leading unsuspecting guests on trailrides throughout Pleasant Valley in Yellowstone, we have to learn commentary and be able to tell our guests things about the area, and be familiar enough with Yellowstone so that we can answer questions. To do so, yesterday they took us on a tour of Yellowstone and showed us all of the main attractions.

And they paid us.

Is this a great job or what?


Yellowstone is actually still very much in the spring season. At Mammoth Hot Springs, we got to see some of the more unusual hotsprings and learned a bit about their formation. Geology galore! This builds up about 24 inches of limestone a year. Eventually it will dry up and the spring will move somewhere else, but the formation of it is amazing! They have these little bacteria in the water that only thrives at temperatures between 130-160 degrees Fahrenheit, meaning that they are harmless to humans as they would freeze to death. They make these beautiful colors and when they die, they become pink before turning grey.

This is the lower terrace.


The day started of bright blue and beautiful, but throughout the day, it got grey and muggy and started hailing on us. We saw a ton of geysers and hot springs steaming up all over the place (and lots of waterfalls) when we stopped to eat lunch at Old Faithful.

I'll have to go back and get a better picture of it some time in the future. I walked up to Old Faithful just as it spurted and sprouted. I was in the wrong side of it to get a good look at it, but it went off right on schedule.


Lower Falls and the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone. One word to describe this place.

Amazing.

It started snowing on us when we got there. By far my favorite waterfall, but nonetheless, all the waterfalls here are stunning. I would whole heartily recommend coming out and seeing the wonders of Yellowstone in person. And give yourself a few days so you can actually hike around some of the sites. I haven't really gotten to do that yet, we basically got the park off the bus and on again tour, but now that I know where the main sites are, I got plenty of opportunities to explore. Plus the backcountry.

And some extra benefits to being a wrangler. Taking a horse in the backcountry for a day or so. As long as they are two of us (Wranglers only) we are permitted to take company horses trail riding on our days off. And this isn't the typical Nose to Tail tours that most guests have to take. We actually have the freedom to trot and canter the horses a bit.

So far, the saddle horses haven't arrived yet. But the Draft Horses have. They have Shires, Percherons and a gob of Belgians. We have to learn their names and who goes with who so we can harness the right teams for when they are scheduled to do the wagon and stagecoach rides.

And I get to learn how to drive them. :)


Here is a couple of the Black Percherons.


One of the Belgians. These guys, despite their gargantuan size, appear to be rather cuddly.

We learn how to drive a team of horses on Friday, as well as harness them up and all of that. The saddle horses come then too.

The rides start on the 9th.

They commence for the rest of the summer.

What can i say? I'm in bliss.

Heading Off

Today I leave for a fun filled summer in Yellowstone. They do have limited internet access there, and I can only hope that my adventures will have me updating my blog in a more active and fascinating matter as opposed to late.

Last night I couldn't sleep, the excitement must have been tensing me up. Tomorrow I have to check in and then I've got the whole summer waiting for me.

In the meantime, I've got the fall and my plans in regards to school and what not in the horizon as well. Then another job hunt as well when I get back.

Signing off for now, hopefully I'll be coming back with a little more excitement to offer. . .

Sketchity. . .

I was wondering if I portrayed this picture properly, in the longrun, it came out pretty good.

Girl blowing a bubble.

I need to focus on drawing like this more often.

Status Post

Drill weekend has once again come and gone. . . the last drill at that drill hall until September at least.

My life seems to be coming together a little better lately, I've gotten a clearer idea of what I'm planning to do and where my life is going.

And I've got a week left until Yellowstone. Hallelujah.

In fact, this whole week will be a lot of working to get ready for my summer job, which in a lot of ways I feel will be a summer vacation :)

School this fall, army and my summer job. Right now, this appears to be the top focus of my life. It feels good.

American Idol

When a show like this starts in a season, I swear I won't get hooked on it. I have still yet to watch a single episode of Survivor or any other reality show.

Well, I got hooked on American Idol when my sister came over and insist we watch it. So I sat down and watched it and grr... I'm hooked on it.

I was personally rooting for Chris and even took the time to send in one phone call to vote for him. But alas, he got booted off last week. I think its the rocker that appealed to me, as the other singers don't have the edge of the music I normally listen too. That said, here is my opinion on the last Three American Idol Contestants.

Kat - She's the last female left, and I think something struck me about her in that I actually really liked her. I was hoping she would face off with Chris in the finale, except for the last couple of weeks she's been off her game. Still, of the three that is left she's pretty much the most marketable. I like her voice, she kind of reminds me of Norah Jones.

Elliot - He looks a little like Seth Green. Kind of dorky to, but I've discovered I'm a bit of a sucker for a dork. He does have a poweful voice, and of the final three, I hope he faces off with Kat. However, chances are one of these two are going to get voted off tomorrow.

Taylor - Is this guy some kind of spaz? I never understood his appeal, though I'm glad he's decided to do something a little different with his hairstyle (it looked like a haircut that a ten year old would have). The grey works, though it ages him by about fifteen years. I don't understand how they will be able to market him either. My guess is he'll make the final two and hopefully Kat or Elliot can beat him out of the running. Not saying anything bad about his singing, he's talented, but his style doesn't really appeal to me. I'm more likely to buy something by Kat or Elliot then Taylor.

But my record for buying an Album by an American Idol winner? Hmm, just one, Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson, and that was produced outside the net of American Idol. So whoever wins, i'll likely not really get into the whole spiel (though I probably would have bought something by Chris, mainly because that's the sound that appeals to me). So, well, may the best singer win.

Schooling Options

I've been debating on the whole schooling process, when I decided on something that really struck me as a job I would love to do.

Animation.

Actually, if you think about it, it's a growing career field and you see animation everywhere. It also crosses over into the gaming industry. I already love drawing, and I was thinking that this is a way to get more proficient in something I enjoy doing and making a legit career out of it. I might have to relocate to make a living, but its something that sounds like if it comes down to it, I could probably still do it from a distance. Eh, we'll see.

If I can manage to still do it from some place local, I think that would be perfect. The only place I really don't want to go that strikes me as the animation hub is California. Something about moving back to the Golden State sends chills. I think I'll see if there is a market in Seattle first.

Warm Fuzzies

A couple of days ago, we were getting onto the freeway when we noticed something laying in the middle of the onramp that looked suspciously like a wallet and checkbook. When we went back to see, sure enough it was.

We went about looking for the owner of the checkbook and wallet, finding an address and phone number and sure enough, we managed to find the owner. He had apparently stopped at Costco and sat them both down on his bumper as he filled the gastank. Being grateful, he gave us an award for returning it right away. Kind of scary really, having all of your information like that, especially these days with Identity theft and all.

I just felt good about doing the right thing and returning the wallet to its rightful owner, and I would hope that anybody would do just that without question. Unfortunately, we live in this day and age where people are out only for themselves, and if you can get ahead by taking advantage of somebody else, well, that's the way to do it these days, isn't it? It never crossed my mind to do anything with the wallet other then to return it to its owner, and I didn't expect to get paid for doing the right thing either.

But honestly, doing the right thing, and in the meantime, letting this guy know that there are still people out in the world who want to do the right thing, it just makes you feel good about yourself. I can only hope that there are still more people in the world who want to do the right thing out there then those who don't.

Celebrities Should Stay Out of Politics

I heard on a commercial break for 60 Minutes that the Dixie Chicks are trying for a comeback.

Interestingly enough how the dixie chicks have become old news and everything, I'm curious as to how much of a comeback they are going to be able to make. Looking back now, they might think that because the President is suffering record low popularity that maybe people will forgive them or what not and listen to their music again.

I'll admit that I like the Dixie Chick's music. Hey, if they make a successful comeback, all the more power to them.

One thing that people should understand that you will always have the freedom of speech in this country, however you have to realize that you are not free of consequences suffered because of your speech. Celebrities should take note to hold true to this if they want to keep their careers, unless they wish to sacrifice their popularity for a chance to be heard.

Strange, there are plenty of conservative celibrities, but I don't remember them bashing Clinton. And for that matter, I didn't hear a lot of Gore or Kerry bashing either, unless you count Saturday Night Live, to which no politician is exempt. Correct me if I'm wrong. In fact, the conservative celibrities I know about tend to keep their opinions to themselves or just merely show support for their candidate. I don't mind celebrities backing one man, whoever that may be.

There is something I have learned in my experience with the world. Politicians, by and large, are crooks with dirt. Mostly because they are human and they make mistakes, and there is always something to dig up on them. A truly honest person, the kind that most people invision as the perfect president, is a person that will never run for office.

I'm not a huge Bush fan, I haven't really agreed with his policies inacted while in office, especially of late, and I've also grown greatly disappointed with the Republican Party (one of the reasons why I say I'm conservative and not a Republican), but I still respect the office he holds and the fact that he is President. I still don't regret voting for the man, and maintain that indeed, I am not sorry.

Interestingly enough, when you show support of something or somebody, it tends to go over better then to be against something or somebody.

Hence, why when all of these celebrities appear to come out against something (namely, our President), their careers start to take a nose dive. Case in point, Alec Baldwin, Bruce Springsteen (anybody hear much about him lately?), Jane Fonda, anybody spoofed in Team America: World Police, and the Dixie Chicks. Seems with the lack of block busters as of late, it seems like Hollywood in general has taken a hit.

I know I haven't seen many movies in the theaters late. Somebody should take note.

Bloomsday Aftermath

Oh, The Pain!!!

I know better then to run a 12K roadrace cold turkey, but due to total lack of motivation lately, I haven't been working up to running Bloomsday like I probably should have. Which has caused me to be in a wee bit of pain the next day, which makes walking down stair cases torture.

But still, I found this running of Bloomsday (Spokane's own personal holiday) to be a kick in the pants. For lack of a better word.

I ran it with my brother, sister and their spouses (who are incidentally also related to each other, but I promise its legal). Bloomsday has a new way of doing things, everyone starts at the same start point and each individual has their own computerized chip chaffing their ankle to time when we go across the start line all the way to the finish.

I thought i did fairly well, considering I had ran this thing cold turkey. Its a 12K road race, and I did it in roughly 1 hour and 35 minutes. I could stand to get out and run a bit more, and I likely would have gotten a better time if I didn't take my iPod with me. I had to stop to adjust it every time it fell out of my ear or just to set it up.

Meanwhile, I ended up running most of it to Linkin Park, I needed something pretty high energy to keep me going and get my mind off of the fact that my body didn't like running that much, uphill and what not. All in all, I think I ran about 95% of it. Not bad in my opinion. Not bad at all.

The t-Shirts are this orange color, normally something I likely wouldn't wear, but I thought they were cool.

Now however, I'm suffering from the aftermath of running that much cold turkey. Stairs are torture to walk down and my thighs scream at me every time I want to do something simple, like get out of bed.

Still, all in all, I have made this a good motivation to take this opportunity to get my soar muscles into action and run regularly. . . starting tomorrow.

Art Status

I'm currently working on a painting. . .

. . . I'm not so sure about it yet.

Anyway, my mom comes in and sees it, and I ask her about it. Basically a 'what do you think?' kind of question.

She looks at it and says 'well, I can't wait to see you finish it, you always seem to make them work.'

Me. 'Well right now I can't stand it.'

Mom. 'Oh, you hate it too?'

Being a parent, I guess mom doesn't want to hurt my feelings, as, well, she's my mom and parents love everything their kids do artistically. . . most of the time.

I got some more colors and decided to work on some other paintings, so I walked into the art supply store. They had a sale on canvases.

I went nuts.

I'm going to be painting a lot through this month I suppose.

Pictures to come.

Small World

Apparently, not to long ago a friend of the family down in Australia found some of my minions selling things for my Risawn Down Under fund. Which makes you think about how small this world really is. . .

I've got this goal of going down to Australia/New Zealand sometime in the not to distant future, however my main barrier to going down under right now seems to be time and finances. I was hoping I could go down this summer, but seeing that it won't work, I moved onto plan b. Which turned into Yellowstone. Then I got to thinking about studying abroad.

Actually, the abroad thing has caught my eye before. I was thinking of doing it in a German speaking country, which would help me practice my pathetic German, but it also crossed my mind that a foreign country that spoke English would be pretty darn cool too. My only problem, I have no idea what I want to major in.

Back into the quest of trying to figure out what I want to do with myself.

Having an undecided major can be a bit of a drag.

Drill Weekend in Hell. .

. . . or rather, Helena Montana.

Actually, the weekend wasn't really hell at all. In fact, it was awesome! Several people mentioned how they would comment to their friends and coworkers tomorrow about how they spent the weekend.

Me? I had a nice quiet weekend. It started on Thursday, where I had to get up a little earlier then usual, took a bus to Helena Montana, fire an M16 and qualified as well as familiarized myself with a gas mask and night fire, (in which every round was a tracer and we witnessed some pretty spectacular fires!), practiced urban warfare with simulated ammo and Paintball guns, took a hike on a land navigation course which was done in both the day and the afternoon, and got a little flight to the course via whirly birds. Or Black Hawk Helicopters.

I'm trying to revamp my Milblog, so I think this post will best be served there. . .

Hidden Posts brought to light

I went back, looked at my blog, and unhid some things I had hidden from view. As I had hid them while I was deployed, or else I never posted them for whatever reason.

Well, its safe to post them now. Some of these are definitely in par with the things I shouldn't post on deployment, and they fit how I felt at the time. Well regardless, I brought them out from hiding. YOu can make your opinion on them be known.

I didn't really get along with my first couple of roommates. Here is evidence. She turned out to be a decent person, we just, well, didn't mesh well in shared living conditions.
A little story I wrote about my NCOIC. He told me that he felt that it demeaned his authority and told me to remove it. Well, guess what? The guy can kiss my behind. If he wants to get sensitive, he can stop being a complete ass. Besides, I'm far to kind to him in this story (which has not been altered in any way).
This is a Rant
I was told to remove this post, because it tells of me and the boy going to Freedom Park, where we proceeded to. . . watch Night of the Living Dead. Oh, and I made a crack at the Kosovo police, and their inability to do their job.
Restlessness with the Army, and Deployment
This is but one of many warnings of what a gargatuan ass my NCOIC was, and I didn't post it because I thought I was being to hard on him at the time.
2 Problems with the Army
How I really felt about getting out of my section

For whatever reason, these posts were not considered to be appropriate for military viewing. Mostly because I'm probably being to honest in them. Heck, some of them are unfinished because I would do that a lot. But this is some of the posts I made, cut dry and to the point. Some of them are rants, but hey, it wouldn't be my blog if I didn't give a good rant from time to time.

Grudges

My orders came in. I'm officially out of the unit I deployed to Kosovo under. I'm under an entirely different command structure, in a completely different job field. They say that one of the things you should never do in the military is talk bad about your unit. I didn't really have a unit to talk up actually. I got along well with my commander most of the time, as well as the other soldier in my section who I shared an office with. I was kind of pitted against the other female soldier in the section, who according to my NCOIC, could do no wrong and he likely considered his prodigy. I was the fifth wheel, I never really belonged in the unit, I never meshed, and I felt like I had no real purpose. It was made very apparent early on in the rotation that I was not needed. The other two soldiers were quick to pick up my duties if need be. I only supplemented them on theirs.

And of course, there was my NCOIC. He was a gigantic Ass. I can say that, and I will say that, because he is no longer in my chain of command and there is no threat of him being put in my command again. I'd work with anybody in my section again if I had to, except for him. One of the things I do wish I had done however, is I wished I could have patched things up a bit.

I've had a tendency to make enemies in the past. People who weren't great friends on any account, rather I would call them arch nemesis. There was this one girl, Sarah, that owned horses while I was in Jr. High. I befriended her early because we had a mutual love of horses, only to learn that we didn't mesh well. In fact, we came to not like each other at all.

Jr High is not a time in my life that stands out greatly to me on any account. I don't think Jr High is a highlight of anybody's existence really. Regardless, when we moved away from there, I was still able to patch things up with Sarah so that I didn't have this lingering sense of grudge baring over my soul. And for the longest time I felt that this was one of my best attributes. That I didn't hold grudges against people. Although I would get frustrated and get enemies, as kids in school often do, I didn't really keep them as enemies. Not saying I made best friends or anything out of the fact, but at least we weren't cursing each other as we passed by. If nothing, we became indifferent to one another. I got on with my life, and that person got on with theirs.

That was always a gratifying feeling though, to get on with your life and knowing that you didn't leave hate mongering in your wake. I didn't like to bare grudges, I never did. I still don't, because it doesn't do much for you and the other person likely can care less.

Well, one thing I kind of wish I could have done is at least patch things up a little bit with my former NCOIC (sergeant in charge to you civilians out there). I would never consider him a friend or anything of that nature, but I didn't want the hostility between us to eat at me at the very least. So I tried to mend things a couple of times.

Turns out, he was even more childish then I was. I went to him trying to discuss the issues at large one on one, and he became hostile at me, told me I was whining and wouldn't let me get a word in edge wise. He threw things back in my face, I was wrong and he wouldn't admit that he was either, even though the Task Force XO, IG and whoever else came back to telling both my NCOIC and my commander that I had been in the right and they were in the wrong. I discovered then that once you got on this guy's bad side, he wouldn't give you the time of day.

That was the day I got out from under his command. He hadn't let me do my job as a Preventive Medicine Specialist since September anyway, so there really was no purpose of me being there. In fact, there had never been a purpose for me being in Kosovo. He never trusted me, relied upon me to do anything right. I was the crutch, the fifth wheel of that unit. And I had a blog that I was very vocal on. He did everything in my power to shut me up because he realized that it was his job to monitor me and being the lazy bastard that he was, he wanted less work to do. He got with the captain, they tag teamed me (like they had done several times before) and gave me an order that I didn't have to obey, as it impeded on my right of free speech. When I disobeyed that order, they tried to shut me down. That whole incident really proved to show this man's colors of what kind of person he was and his character. Getting out from under him was the best thing I could have done for myself, as I learned more about leadership when I was out from under him then I ever did from him. If anything, he taught me a lot about what not to be in a leader.

After I get out from under him, I did try a couple of times to make ammends. I even offered him Peanut Butter Fudge once (he didn't accept it) and then I learned that I would never make ammends with this person. He was pouty, and he acted increasingly childish, at one meeting at which we were both present, he offered everybody in the room some huckleberry taffy (except me, which he made it a point not to).

I think he got mightily offended when I decided to appeal the NCOER (sergeant evaluation report). I'm still in the process of appealing it, though it turns out I have to wait until I'm in my new unit to push it through.

After I tried to make some shabby ammends with the guy, I learned, while looking back, that he really didn't deserve the effort on my part. I think it proves that I'm a better person then he is, that I would even try to make an effort especially after all the crap he did to me. Regardless, he turned out to be a genuine Asshole and since he is no longer in my command, I'll say just about anything about the bastard that I want.

Unfortunately, I think I will have these feelings of ill-will to this man for the rest of my life. I will likely never see him again, and I have one suggestion to make to him and that is to turn in his 20 year letter because his staying in will not benefit the army one bit, at least, not as a leader, of which his leadership skills are absolutely zilch (two of his soldiers couldn't stand him by the end of the tour and the third was indifferent, only because he is a strong enough character that he'll get by regardless of how poor a leader his NCOIC is, otherwise I think he would have hated the guy too).

I can take some solace in the fact that I struck a major nerve with the guy, but fortunately I think I'll move on, learn the lessons that he unintentionally taught me about everything a leader shouldn't be or do, and see if I still have what it takes to be a soldier in the military. I like my new unit so far, I like what they do, the soldiering atmosphere they provide, and feel like I can get back in the swing of things again. Bad leaders are everywhere in the military, I don't think the military is helping matters by promoting everything to sergeant like they've been doing (as one thing I have learned with my time in the military, is not everybody is a leader) but if nothing else, I can try to learn some leadership traits and see if I still have the desire to stay in.

I'm going to give this unit a shot. If it doesn't work out, I'm out in a year and a half for good.

Discussions in Retrospect

I have been doing a lot of thinking, most of it in retrospect, and one conversation I had comes to mind frequently. It is also a conversation I had with a person that I feel said a lot about that person at the time, but I failed to read the warning signs and gave him a pass.

I posted my feelings about it earlier too, mentioning it here.

My former NCOIC was the kind of person that knew everything, had an opinion on everything, and would give you his opinion whether you liked it or not. Its just, the thing is, he didn't know everything, time and time again he proved to be increasingly ignorant, and was just too arrogant to see the matter any way other then his way. Which is probably one of the main reasons why I had a big falling out with the guy. In fact, I learned to despise him.

The conversation was about homosexuality. What irritated me about the conversation was that I was told point blank that I was wrong for believing that Homosexuality is wrong. His reasoning was that he felt that if I had a child, that child came out as homosexual, that unless I accepted their lifestyle, I couldn't love them, or something to that effect. What he did was skew my words and made it look that I was closed minded for not accepting something my kid did as wrong.

Fortunately, as of now, I don't have kids, but this kind of reasoning is for one, rediculous. What has my kid being gay have anything to do with me loving them or not? I know a lot of people that are gay that are great people. I know people who smoke who are great people. I know a lot of people who do things that I disagree with that are great, awesome people. Because a person is gay doesn't automatically make me hate them. I disagree with their lifestyle. I think it is perverse and wrong. And I will never accept it as being ok. But I can say the same thing with a million other things, like doing drugs, casual sex, listening to rap music, and whatever else that can be on a greater or lesser degree to homosexuality.

The problem with being against homosexuality these days is if you think that homosexuality is wrong, you are quick to gain the label of 'homophobe.' By its very nature, that seems to be an irrational fear toward homosexuality. It seems to be a liberal trademark to not want to be labeled, but in the meantime to turn around and label somebody else. The thing is, I don't have a fear of homosexuals, I don't hate them. I just don't agree with them. I will never agree that their lifestyle is ok. You know what I do around these people? I don't bring up the fact that their homosexual. We don't talk about it. That is their business, its something that they do on their own time. It is none of my business, and quite frankly, I don't really want to hear about it.

Which brings back the question of what I would do if I had a kid who came out of the closet and admitted that they were gay? What would I do? I would not accept that as an acceptable lifestyle, and I'm sure they would know that I did not accept it as such. But I would also let them know, well before they come out, that I will love them no matter what they do. They are going to make a lot of choices and decisions that I don't agree with, and I will never love them any less because of it.

Because no matter who they become or what they do, they will still be my child.

The reasoning my former NCOIC gave me really made no sense, and in looking back nearly a year and a half later after it happened, that's how I remembered his reasoning being.

Actually, how rediculously stupid and trivial his reasoning seems to me now makes me wonder about a lot of things about the man. But one thing I have discovered since we ceased to talk on friendly terms. Not having to listen to his opinions on everything made life in the last few months of my deployment a lot more bareable.

Don't Know

I look around at myself, where I'm at, and I get in this crazy funk in regards to what I want to do with my life, as opposed to what other people do. I've never really fit within the norm of other people, mainly because I've always seen myself as being different, a little bizarre maybe, not fitting in with the mainstream. It has never really bothered me, not really. Unfortunately, I often contradict myself.

I know what I want, but I don't have any idea of what I want to do. A part of me wants to find somebody to be with, and another part of me wants to be left alone. I love the military and in the same breath I hate it. I know what I want to do with my life but I don't know how I'll ever accomplish it. I've always had this indecisive, somewhat impulsive nature to just kind of go with the flow, do things however I need to do them.

I wish I had a better idea of what I had in mind, I've got it planned out, sort of, but at the same time I feel like I'm winging this.

I guess I'm going to continue to walk this fine line of knowing and not knowing until the day I die.

Meanwhile, I think my next major purchase is going to be a Bike.

What Could have Been

If you were intending to buy a Pirated DVD for €4.00, you could instead buy:

thirty-four 65g packets of Tesco value instant noodles four hundred and ninety-four millilitres of anti-dandruff shampoo two hundred and sixteen grams of swiss chocolate a hand buzzer one twenty-thousandth of a terraced house on an English council estate fifty-five carrots six hundred and seven millilitres of Red Bull energy drink twenty-four milligrams of heroin one hundred and thirty-four grams of silly putty two cups of coffee from a café

What are you thinking of buying?

I might buy for UK pounds sterlingCanadian dollarsAustralian dollarsEurosUS dollars

And to think of what I could have bought instead of supporting the Kosovo Economy by buying pirated DVDs.

Lessons Learned. . .

Next time I go boarding, I'm going to force the person I'm going with to get me some action shots.

I confess, running into a tree and acquiring 14 stitches doesn't seem to sink into me that snowboarding can be a hazardous sport.

Silver Mountain is still open, and the conditions were sweet. I've come to really appreciate the mountain (this is my third time boarding there) and the fact that it has great coverage and awesome runs. And a freakin' sweet terrain park!

Its spring boarding. I'm now sunburned.

Next year is the year I will be doing the dare devil stunts. I have a season pass and I'm not afraid to use it!

*unless the gas prices get the better of me first.*

What's Happening in My Life

Plans, for the rest of this year.

Next Drill, I should have a weekend that will finally make Carnival of Cordite news. It should be good fun too. I'll meet some more people in the unit, as well as hook up with the Montana units that I will most likely be drilling with this summer while I'm in Yellowstone.

Bloomsday is May 7th. And I am running it. Or will try. If it doesn't kill me first.

Because of my little Tree Accident, I had to take a break from Karate. I could have gone back by now, but with drill weekend and everything taking a big chunk of my week, I'm going to be back in class first thing in May.

May consists of a lot of nothingness. I have my stuff, which I need to sort through, and I have to get that stuff all prioritized and in order so I don't leave a gargantuan mess for my parents to deal with. I promised dad I would get it taken care of, now I need to buck up and commit to it.

Of course, there is Creature. I'm trying to update it enough so I won't be having to many breaks while I'm in Wyoming. I'm not sure what the lifespan of this will be, I just need to update it sparingly or something, so it doesn't take over my life. I can only hope not.

Anyway, summer madness will be sweet. June through early September I'll be riding horses and leading trail rides in Yellowstone. So if you are going to Yellowstone this summer, drop by Roosevelt Ranch. Not sure how my blogging will be down there, I'll try to maintain it if at all possible. Regardless, this is going to be a summer to remember.

September brings me back home. I'll likely move in with my parents for the remainder of the month, get checked into school with everything in order, and look for an apartment, with the hopes that I can be moved in by October.

I've already got my acceptence letter and everything. Then of course, I will need to get a real job. And hope that my temper won't get the better of me with it.

Movie Reviews, so you don't have to see 'em

I made a mistake not long ago of renting a couple of movies.

I have not been really all that impressed with the crap that Hollywood has been releasing lately, and so I haven't seen or rented a movie in a while. Just because, well, nothing perked my interest.

Well, I take that back, one movie did perk my interest, not because of the subject matter or what not, but because of the whole spiel that everyone was saying how great it was.

Actually, I just wanted to see it for myself. And let me tell you, going into this movie, I wasn't all that impressed.

The characters were self serving and a bit shallow. The one character has no sense of responsibility as he throws aside his work and family to have a forbidden affair. This movie didn't teach anything about morals, values or what not. Both of the characters mess up their lives trying to fulfill these hidden desires and neither one ends the better for it.

Liberals will watch this movie and point out that this is the problem with society, that people have to live in secret and aren't allowed to be themselves, thus ruining their lives. Conservatives will watch this movie and point out how the actions of both characters involved only stress that much more about how they ruin their own lives. They say they're in love, but there is a definite 'lust' thing going on here. The movie has no real life lessons applied, other then do what you want to do and let your family and work be damned. Both these characters live a big freakin' lie. All in the name of 'love'. Its bull- in my opinion.

The movie makers thoughts on the matter? "This will show that we need to accept people so that they don't have to live in the closet like this and their lives won't be ruined."

Brokeback Mountain, folks. Seriously, cut and dry definition of this movie? A movie about Two Gay Cowboys. And the tear jerker scene that is supposed to be emotionally gutwrenching? I went 'eh.' For its artistic merit, it's not a bad movie, but it isn't by any means a great movie that all the reviewers are saying it is. Sure, it will make you think, if you can stay awake watching it.

I haven't heard of to many guys who had any desire to see this film, my dad mentioned that one guy admitted to watching it and everyone else gave him crap for weeks about it.

My mom watched the first thirty minutes out of morbid curiousity, and then shut it off when she kept fast forwarding through different scenes and finally got to the sex scene.

I can tell you one thing, its a movie I will never see again.

The Other movie I saw? A Sound of Thunder. Two Words of Advice on this little gem. Don't bother.