I have been doing a lot of thinking, most of it in retrospect, and one conversation I had comes to mind frequently. It is also a conversation I had with a person that I feel said a lot about that person at the time, but I failed to read the warning signs and gave him a pass.
I posted my feelings about it earlier too, mentioning it here.
My former NCOIC was the kind of person that knew everything, had an opinion on everything, and would give you his opinion whether you liked it or not. Its just, the thing is, he didn't know everything, time and time again he proved to be increasingly ignorant, and was just too arrogant to see the matter any way other then his way. Which is probably one of the main reasons why I had a big falling out with the guy. In fact, I learned to despise him.
The conversation was about homosexuality. What irritated me about the conversation was that I was told point blank that I was wrong for believing that Homosexuality is wrong. His reasoning was that he felt that if I had a child, that child came out as homosexual, that unless I accepted their lifestyle, I couldn't love them, or something to that effect. What he did was skew my words and made it look that I was closed minded for not accepting something my kid did as wrong.
Fortunately, as of now, I don't have kids, but this kind of reasoning is for one, rediculous. What has my kid being gay have anything to do with me loving them or not? I know a lot of people that are gay that are great people. I know people who smoke who are great people. I know a lot of people who do things that I disagree with that are great, awesome people. Because a person is gay doesn't automatically make me hate them. I disagree with their lifestyle. I think it is perverse and wrong. And I will never accept it as being ok. But I can say the same thing with a million other things, like doing drugs, casual sex, listening to rap music, and whatever else that can be on a greater or lesser degree to homosexuality.
The problem with being against homosexuality these days is if you think that homosexuality is wrong, you are quick to gain the label of 'homophobe.' By its very nature, that seems to be an irrational fear toward homosexuality. It seems to be a liberal trademark to not want to be labeled, but in the meantime to turn around and label somebody else. The thing is, I don't have a fear of homosexuals, I don't hate them. I just don't agree with them. I will never agree that their lifestyle is ok. You know what I do around these people? I don't bring up the fact that their homosexual. We don't talk about it. That is their business, its something that they do on their own time. It is none of my business, and quite frankly, I don't really want to hear about it.
Which brings back the question of what I would do if I had a kid who came out of the closet and admitted that they were gay? What would I do? I would not accept that as an acceptable lifestyle, and I'm sure they would know that I did not accept it as such. But I would also let them know, well before they come out, that I will love them no matter what they do. They are going to make a lot of choices and decisions that I don't agree with, and I will never love them any less because of it.
Because no matter who they become or what they do, they will still be my child.
The reasoning my former NCOIC gave me really made no sense, and in looking back nearly a year and a half later after it happened, that's how I remembered his reasoning being.
Actually, how rediculously stupid and trivial his reasoning seems to me now makes me wonder about a lot of things about the man. But one thing I have discovered since we ceased to talk on friendly terms. Not having to listen to his opinions on everything made life in the last few months of my deployment a lot more bareable.