Answering Roman

About the time I started to get, well, noticed, I got an comment from somebody asking me a question.

Hi I'm writing from Paris, France.
After seeing your art and writings I think you are a very sensitive girl.
Hence I also think it's very sad that a girl like you feels so unsecure.
I'm not writing this to talk about politics, I'm just asking you to think about the reasons why you like guns so much, and what were the reasons you started this blog ? Is your mind clear enough to make the right decisions in of your life (think about the title of your blog).
Be aware that it's the army's job to condition your mind. Perhaps you can still leave the army before it's too late.
I'm also asking you to ask yourself this question: It is worth dying for this war ?
Listen to heart and please take care.?

Ok, before you start flaming this guy for being a troll, I don't see him as that. I see him as a guy asking an honest question just trying to figure out why. I see nothing wrong with that. In fact, I generally do the same thing to people who I don't see eye to eye with myself. It helps me understand where other people are coming from.

And so, this is my reply.

Roman, you are right, I am a sensitive person, on some accounts. However, I am not insecure about who I am, at least, not anymore. My 'obsession' with guns really has been taken out of context here (which I don't mind). Yes, I like guns, I think it is important that a person know how to handle a firearm. Firearms should be respected, not feared. However, I'm not a rabid gun nut. If you throw a random weapon at me, chances are I probably can't name its make or tell you what kind of round it uses. But give me a moment and I can probably figure out how to fire it down range.

One of the reasons why I like guns so much is because I was trained on them in the military and I come to discover that I enjoy firing them. There really is a bit of an adrenaline rush when you are firing one of these things and you smell the gunpowder in the air. It's kind of like an arcade game. Only with real bullets. I see it as a hobby and something I enjoy, not an insecurity issue.

As to the name of my blog, I unintentionally named it a little over five years ago, and the circumstances bringing about the name do arise from an insecure time in my life.

And then I joined the army. Best decision I ever made. My only regret is that I didn't wait two years to finish my A.A. and then go Active Duty.

Yes, I have been an insecure person. The military made me stronger, yes, they conditioned me to be able to handle stress better and deal with difficult times in my life. I don't see their training negatively, I see it positively. They trained me to be a soldier. But I knew myself well enough that they didn't make me somebody else.

As to the question about this war and is it worth dying in it? That's a loaded question. However, when I joined the military, I knew that there was a chance that I might have to die defending my country. I might have to be put in harms way to get the mission done. Truth is, people die every day. Some pass quietly in their sleep, others are murdered violently. Some die in car accidents before their time. But our time will come eventually, its only a matter of when, and how.

Maybe there are some issues with this war in Iraq that I disagree with. But we are there now, and we should finish what we started. And the end product will hopefully be a nation of free people. Freedom is a glorious thing, and if it is a gift I can bestow upon a nation by laying down my life, or giving my life in the cause of my country, I can see no greater honor in dying then that.

You might not see purpose in the War in Iraq. I see a purpose and I'm willing to serve. I am a soldier, and if called upon, this is my duty.

In the meantime, I'll proudly serve in Kosovo.

Hope that answers your question.

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